I’m so sorry I haven’t shared an installation of my memoir yet. I’ve just been so horribly upset that I can hardly think about anything — not even the very important duty of sharing my story with the world.
You see … Mama has done something really horrible!
For days, she told me again and again about the wonderful, special present she was getting for me. I was so excited! The possibilities were endless!
Could it be a new toy, just for me?
Could it be a special kitty bed, just for me? Maybe even in my favorite color (purple, in case you were wondering) and covered from top to bottom with delicious, snuggly fleece.
Could it be a delightful smorgasbord of people-food delicacies, just for me?
Maybe Mama would send Siouxsie and Thomas away for a day and I’d get to have her all to myself!
And then, the day finally came. Earlier this week, Mama told me, “Oh Dahlia, your special present is here! I can’t wait to show it to you when I get home. You’re gonna love it!”
I could barely even nap, I was so excited!
And then, she came home.
“Where’s my present?” I asked, weaving figure-eights around Mama’s feet. “Where is it? Where is it?”
“Oh, Dahlia, look what I got for you,” she said. And then she presented me with it.
It was …
… a kitty prison!
Sure, it was nice, as kitty prisons go. It even looked like one of those luggage things Mama takes out when she’s going to go away. But it was still a kitty prison.
I was so sad and angry, I turned my back to her. I almost didn’t eat my supper.
Then she had the nerve to carry me — and the kitty prison — into the bedroom, where she plied me with delicious venison and green-lipped mussel treats in an attempt to bribe me. She tried sticking some in the kitty prison itself, but I was too smart for that. I just hid under the bed and acted miserable.
Sure, Siouxsie and Thomas have both been in it, and they say it’s wonderful. Thomas even says he wishes he could have a kitty sedan chair as awesome as that.
Well, he can have it!
I’m not getting in it!