Dear Sinéad and Siouxsie:
Why do my roommate's cats spit up hairballs all over the house and urinate on our clothing, even when their litter box has just been changed. How can I stop this?

As a little background: My roommate and his wife got Luna back in 1998 and got Gremlin to keep her company a couple of months later. They have now divorced and he got custody of both cats. They are spayed and neutered respectively and have always been the only house critters. They are strictly inside cats, but coexist quite well, only fighting once or twice a week. Luna is very affectionate-quite the attention hog- whereas Gremlin is a bit more standoffish. He'll let you pet him, but will usually only demand attention when he's hungry, thirsty, wants the shared litter box changed, or when you're eating or cooking something particularly tasty. They receive dry kibble, water, and the occasional kitty snack, but no human food except for their weekly forays into the trash. Both seem to be in good health and have current shots.

Thanks for your help,
P.O.'d in Washington

Siouxsie: Well, darling, it's obvious. You just have to put your clothes in an appropriate place....like the cat box!

Sinéad: Siouxsie! Do you think you could try to be helpful for a change?

Siouxsie: Oh, okay. Well, P.O.'d, I'd say that Luna and Gremlin are probably stressed. Cats get stressed out about major changes in their lives, just like people do. I bet if you think back, you'll see that their strange behavior started about the time your roommate and his wife got divorced. Cats are very sensitive to changes in their lives. They know something major is going on, but nobody's told them anything.

Sinéad: They may also be picking up stress from your roommate about the divorce situation. I know that when my mama gets sad or stressed, it makes me worried, and sometimes I've been known to engage in what you might call dysfunctional coping behavior.

Siouxsie: Oh, is that what you're calling your neurotic belly-licking these days?

Sinéad: I'm not neurotic, I'm sensitive!

Siouxsie: Anyway, I recommend that you make sure and give the kitties lots of extra love and that your roommate talk to Luna and Gremlin and tell them what's going on. It would probably be a good idea to put your clothes away so the cats won't be tempted to use them as litter boxes.

Sinéad: Yeah, Mama never lets us in her clothes closet. But back to the matter at hand, a dose of Bach Rescue Remedy might help, too. It's a flower essence, and you can find it at health food stores. If you put a drop or two in their water, it'll probably help. I know when I get nervous, Rescue Remedy works great for me.

Siouxsie: Of course, you should also keep an eye out for blood in their urine or any signs of straining at the litter box. As tidy and wonderful as we are, sometimes we will urinate in inappropriate places because we're trying to show you that something's wrong. If you see any signs of straining or blood in the urine, take your cats to the vet right away, because they may have a urinary tract infection.

Sinéad: And I can tell you from experience that UTIs are very painful and unpleasant!

Siouxsie: As for the hairballs, that's another issue. We very rarely get hairballs because our Mama grooms us regularly. Even short-haired cats like to be groomed.

Sinéad: We cats do like to be very clean and keep our fur in good trim, so we wash ourselves by licking. Of course, we have little bristles on our tongue that make it so we can't spit the hair out, so we have to swallow it. And that's why we get hairballs.

Siouxsie: So if you brush your cats regularly (and most cats will love this, especially that little brown-nose Sinéad; you should hear her purr when Mama brushes her!), that will help solve the problem.

Sinéad: My nose isn't brown; it's black, just like yours! We also hear that pet stores carry tubes of tasty stuff that can help lubricate our tummies so we can pass the hairballs out the other end. Veterinarians also have this stuff.

Siouxsie: We're sure our wise advice will help you solve Luna and Gremlin's problem. Just remember: lots of love and affection and grooming, and a lot of these problems will go away. But if you see a sign of any possible illness, take your kitties to the vet.

JaneA: May I add something?

Siouxsie: If you must.

JaneA: There's a great way to get rid of the smell of cat urine in carpets, furniture, pillows, and things of that nature. I found this tip at Rental Housing Online and tried it when I found that a tomcat had sprayed all over one of my favorite curio cabinets while it was in storage....

Sinéad: Tomcats! They're so rude!

JaneA: Anyway, this worked like a charm. You can see cat urine with a black light fluorescent light, then clean and deodorize it by spraying the area with a mist of vinegar. When seen in black light, cat urine that has been sprayed on walls shows up as a yellowish splatter and drips. Spray the mist of vinegar on the walls wherever the urine shows and let it dissolve. Also spray around the baseboards and let it drip into the carpet just like the urine likely did. Don't saturate the carpet, though. Repeat a few times as necessary to get the carpet just wet enough to penetrate. You can also use a cloth rag saturated in a bucket of vinegar. Dab it on spots the light reveals on walls, floors and the carpet.

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail Sinéad and Siouxsie at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the advice in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.