Dear Sinéad and Siouxsie,
I'm a beautiful white rat, and I don't like cats! My mama and papa brought home a cat and he chased me and tried to eat me! Then they locked me in the bathroom until they could find a new home for the cat. Why do cats want to eat me? I don't want to be eaten, and neither do any of the mice I talk to! Please tell all those cats not to eat rats and mice!

Sincerely,
Pinkie

Siouxsie: You want us to tell cats not to eat mice? That's like telling mice not to eat cheese! It's ridiculous! Cats started living with people thousands of years ago, and they let us stay because we ate the mice and rats that threatened their food supply. They worshipped us as gods and goddesses (as rightly they should!), and now you want us to tell cats not to do their first and most important job?

Sinéad: Don't have a kitten, Siouxsie. I think what Pinkie means is that he'd like us to tell cats not to eat rats and mice that live with people as pets. Now, I can understand that. How would you feel if every time we went to Grammy's house, her big giant dog Aki started chasing us around and tried to eat us?

Siouxsie: Humph! Well, I suppose you have a point. But I don't see why people would want to keep mice and rats and stuff as pets!

Sinéad: They do have a sort of appeal if you get to know them. And besides, they can get into smaller spaces, and if you make friends with your mouse and rat roommates, maybe they'll help you get some extra food morsels when your people aren't looking.

Siouxsie: I guess they're not all bad, then.

Sinéad: Besides, even the ones that live outside are fun to talk to. I love chatting with the squirrels and birds that come and visit our roof; they tell me all kinds of stories about their adventures.

Siouxsie: You're weird. They just look tasty to me!

Sinéad: You know you made a promise not to eat Captain Fearless, even if you could catch him.

Siouxsie: I still think you're weird.

Sinéad: And remember, all you cats out there. Some animals that look like they might be tasty treats can fight back! If you're considering making a snack out of a guinea pig, for example, step back and ask yourself if that guinea pig is really as weak as it looks. They're not, believe me. I saw a show about guinea pigs once, and those creatures can fight!

Siouxsie: Weasels and ferrets, too. They might look tasty, but they've got really sharp teeth! If you live with a weasel or a ferret, it's best to have a truce with it.

Sinéad: Mama said she even has a friend who has a hedgehog. That's a thing that looks like a mouse or a shrew but it's got spikes all over it. If you try to eat that, you're going to get a sore mouth!

Siouxsie: So, I guess for Pinkie's sake and for all the other rodents that live with people, we'll say to our cat friends: If the rodent is one that your person likes and there's a cage and food and water for it, stay away from it. Try to become friends if you can, even though it's against your nature. But outside, all rodents are fair game! Mice! Rats! Star-nosed moles! Shrews! Squirrels! Chipmunks! Oooooh, I'm drooling just thinking about it.

Sinéad: Oh, yes, the great black hunter! The miniature panther! The stalking death! Terror of rodents all over the world! Riiiiight. If the flapping of your dangling belly doesn't alert your prey before you nab it, that is.

Siouxsie: I ought to come over there and bat you! But I'm busy digesting my dinner.

JaneA: I guess that's enough from the girls for today. I don't know if we can do much to convince cats that they shouldn't eat rodents, because after all, it is part of their basic nature. But cats are pretty adaptable when they want to be, and I have heard of cats living in harmony with domestic rats, hamsters, birds, and other odd pets. You never know, I guess.

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail Sinéad and Siouxsie at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the advice in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.