Dear Sinéad, Siouxsie and Thomas:
Please help -- I have an 18-year-old cat with diabetes. The vet only gives him about 4 more months to live. He has started peeing in the guest room and my husband is furious. I have had the carpet cleaned and used "barrier" stuff to keep him out of the room, but he always manages to get back in there and pee again.

My husband's mother is coming to stay with us over Christmas, and I am at a loss. I can replace the carpet but I really don't know what to do about the cat. I can keep the cat in the basement, but he yowls when he knows there are people upstairs.

My husband would like the cat put down, but I just can't bear it. What should I do?

~VJ

Sinéad: Well, VJ, you do have a tough situation there. But we think we can help you.

Siouxsie: The first issue is the urination problem. Between the diabetes and his advanced age, we're not surprised your cat is peeing where he shouldn't. One of the symptoms of diabetes, as you know, is increased thirst and urination. This symptom is manageable if you can control his diabetes through insulin injections. But if he's reaching the end stage of his disease and his sugars aren't under control, excessive urination will result.

Thomas: In addition, as cats get older they -- like some humans -- can have difficulty "holding it" until they get to their litterbox, especially if they have only one box and it happens to be far away from the place where they realized they needed to do their business. And arthritis can make climbing into or holding the elimination pose in the litterbox quite uncomfortable.

Sinéad: So if your cat likes to sleep in the guest room but his litterbox is far away, he may not have time to get all the way to the box. To give him some credit, he's at least chosen to urinate on the floor rather than on beds or other furniture.

Siouxsie: We recommend that you locate a litterbox in the guest room. That way, if your cat wakes up with that "gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!" feeling, he doesn't have to go far to get to a toilet. You can place a plastic carpet runner cover under the litterbox in order to control the spread of cat litter into the carpet, and to catch any "accidents" that might happen just at the edges of the box. We recommend that you leave about 2 feet of plastic on all exposed sides of the box. But if this isn't feasible, just leave as much exposed plastic as you can.

Thomas: Another thing you can do is to actually place the litterbox on top of the spot on the carpet where your cat likes to urinate. Then gradually move the box to a more acceptable location (a corner, perhaps).

Sinéad: Before you put that litterbox on top of kitty's inappropriate toilet, though, you're going to need to clean that area very well. You say you've already had the carpet cleaned, but sometimes cleaning the carpet doesn't eliminate the odor of urine. Just because you can't smell it doesn't mean we cats can't.

Siouxsie: But there are a couple of ways you can clean the urine so that the smell is gone for good. The first is to use a really good enzymatic cleaner. We recommend Anti-Icky-Poo because it works better to eliminate urine odors than any other commercial urine remover product.

Thomas: Another trick is to use a mixture of vinegar and water. Vinegar neutralizes the urine and reduces odors. First, use a handheld black light to look for urine stains, then clean and deodorize it by spraying the area with a mist of vinegar. When seen in black light, cat urine that has been sprayed on walls shows up as a yellowish splatter and drips. Spray the mist of vinegar on the walls wherever the urine shows and let it dissolve. Also spray around the baseboards and let it drip into the carpet just like the urine likely did. Don't saturate the carpet, though. Repeat a few times as necessary to get the carpet just wet enough to penetrate. You can also use a cloth rag saturated in a bucket of vinegar. Dab it on spots the light reveals on walls, floors and the carpet.

Sinéad: If these tricks don't work to manage your cat's urination problem, then you may have to resort to some creative problem-solving when your mother-in-law is visiting for the holidays.

Siouxsie: We hope your mother-in-law would understand that your cat is getting along in years (18 in cat years is the equivalent of about 96 in human years) and needs to have some extra compassion and compensation for his special needs. Not that your mother-in-law should be expected to put up with cat urine on her clothes or in her suitcase, mind you, but hopefully she'll understand that you're making your cat's final days with you as pleasant as possible.

Thomas: And we hope that your husband will understand this, too. Ask him to consider how he would like to be treated when he gets much older. Would he like to be treated with respect, given dignity and love, and given a little slack by his kids (or other younger people) if he becomes forgetful or if his health declines? If so, would he consider offering the same kindness to the cat who shares his home?

Sinéad: For many humans, the process of living with an aging and dying animal is a "rehearsal" for what you will eventually have to do for your own parents and older relatives. In fact, the mere act of caring for an aging and dying animal can bring up many emotional issues for humans. That is why some humans have a really difficult time euthanizing an animal that is obviously suffering, or why some humans become emotionally distant with sick and dying animals (at a time when they need our love and kindness more than ever).

Siouxsie: How people treat sick and dying animals shows a lot about their own feelings around death. This time can be a great opportunity for you and your husband to take a serious look at your attitudes about death and aging; this could be the greatest lesson your cat can give you.

Thomas: That having been said, it's time for you to consider your cat's overall quality of life. Is he happy? Is he able to eat, cuddle with you, and play? Does he enjoy the things he used to enjoy? Does he appear to be in pain? Is he hiding a lot? Is his fur matted or dirty? Listen with your heart as you ask yourself -- and your cat -- these questions. If your cat is suffering, if he is unable to enjoy his life, it may be time for you to consider letting him go.

Sinéad: If, on the other hand, your cat is happy, he's keeping himself clean, he enjoys being with people, he doesn't mind taking his insulin, and he still has a good appetite, then he's not ready to go just yet.

Siouxsie: We suggest that if you find you must keep your cat out of the guest room, that you not isolate him in the basement. As you said, he yowls and cries down there -- mostly because he's lonely and uncomfortable.

Thomas: We figure that as long as you're awake or in the house, kitty can be "supervised." If you keep the guest room door closed (and if the door doesn't close properly, we suggest you get a small, inexpensive "eye hook" from your local hardware store and install that), then the cat can't go in there and pee.

Sinéad: While you're away, maybe you can leave him in a room all his own. Make sure the room is warm and that he has a comfortable bed, a basking spot, toys, food and water as usual, and a litterbox. Consider leaving a radio or television on at a low volume so your cat doesn't feel so lonely when you're away.

Siouxsie: And maybe during the night, you and your husband could consider letting your cat sleep in your room. You would, of course, need to have a bed, water and a litterbox in your room, especially if you leave the door closed while you sleep.

Thomas: We recommend that you read the book Complete Care for Your Aging Cat by Amy D. Shojai. It has lots of great information for people who live with senior cats, and it also has a chapter on letting your cat go when the time comes. You might get the book from your local library first, and then if you think the information would be good for you to have in your home at all times, it's easy enough to buy a copy at your local bookstore or online. Mama bought the paperback version a while ago and she says it's just about the best $14.95 she's spent.

Sinéad: Good luck, VJ. We hope that these tips will help you and your kitty have a good holiday season and enjoy your last months together.

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail us at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the material in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.