Dear Sinéad, Siouxsie and Thomas:
I have a 4-month-old kitten named Rocky, whom I've had since he was born. His mother was a stray who adopted me after she became pregnant (with five kittens). Rocky is very attached to me, and he is quite a handful. I'm having some behavior problems with him, and I don't know how to handle them. He is really destructive. He's ruined a shower curtain a day. It seems that he thinks everything I pick up is his toy, and he will leap on it, or on me: Towels, clothes, paper, whatever. I have walked back and forth in my apartment many a time with him hanging by his claws from my pant leg. It doesn't matter whether I'm carrying the pants or wearing them. If I try to put on my coat and go out, he's on my coat before it's completely on, and I have to pull him off several times before I'm out the door.

If I try to do dishes and he doesn't get the attention he wants, when he wants it, he's been known to leap on my back. If I don't play "make Momma throw" the minute he brings me something to throw, he rolls on my feet and starts to scratch my feet and ankles.

Everything is his toy. I clean his litter and he tries to knock the clumps out of the scooper before I can get them in the bag. I can no longer leave my toothbrushes out anywhere near the sink; they're in the litter or on the floor by morning. He pulls straws out of my drink. He even likes to pull all the potatoes out of their bag and roll them around on the floor at night. I cannot open a refrigerator, a drawer, a cabinet or closet without him being inside in a second flat.

Rocky and his kitty mom get along well, although she's a little too permissive, in my opinion. He drives her crazy, too, and sometimes she actually sighs and tries to walk away. He's really smart, too. He takes his fishing rod toys and teases his kitty mom, so that she runs after him while he runs with the toy.

Rocky's a riot a minute, and he has a wonderful personality. He's extremely affectionate with me, loves to have his tummy rubbed, loves to curl up on me and purr like an engine, gives me kisses. But I can foresee the impatience and demanding behavior becoming a major problem. Do you have any ideas on how I can deal with him?

I've had a number of kittens and cats over the years, all of whom were spoiled rotten and lived to be a ripe old age. I never had any trouble teaching the other cats about reasonable behavior, but I'm just not sure what to do about Rocky.

Thanks for your advice,
~ Debby

Sinéad: Wow, Debby, it sounds like Rocky is a handful. A wonderful and sweet handful, but a handful nonetheless.

Siouxsie: But we think we might have some insights and ideas for you.

Thomas: First of all, a lot of kittens go through a phase where they are destructive and kind of crazy-acting. This is more common in kittens of Oriental-type breeds or Oriental mixes.

Sinéad: As much as we hate to admit it, Debby, even Siouxsie and I went through a time where we were little feline whirlwinds. We loved climbing curtains and knocking over plants!

Siouxsie: And nothing was more fun than jumping from the stove to the top of the bathroom door and hanging on for dear life (with every pointy part!) while the door swung from side to side! Hee hee hee!

Sinéad: Siouxsie even showed her mouse-hunting prowess early on by attacking Mama's computer mouse and chewing the cord right in half!

Siouxsie: For some reason, Mama was less than impressed when she got home from work, went to do some writing, and found a mouseless computer. I don't know why.

Thomas: I wish I'd been around to see that! Heh heh heh.

Siouxsie: Oh, shut it, stripey-head! You weren't even a glimmer in your mama's eye back then.

Thomas: It's true, I'm not old like you.

Siouxsie: I'm nine and a half. I'm not old, I'm middle-aged!

Thomas: More like nine and three-quarters.

Sinéad: Anyway, Debby, what we're trying to say is that some kittens will go through this wild and crazy phase of life. It generally abates by the time they're a year old. But that's a lot of shower curtains between now and then.

Siouxsie: In some ways, it sounds as if Rocky is bored. The constant demands for attention and desire for high-energy play -- which his mother isn't accommodating, probably because she's grown out of her "kitten crazies" phase of life -- seem to us to be indications that Rocky needs to have a playmate of equal energy.

Thomas: One thing you didn't mention in your letter, Debby, is whether you'd kept any of Rocky's siblings. If you found homes for all the others, then Rocky is probably feeling lonely and bored. Since you are as close to him as mom and siblings because of all the help and co-parenting you gave him as a kitten [note: this letter was edited for length and some of this information has been omitted], he turns to you for his "kitten play."

Sinéad: That's right. All the things he's doing with you -- the pouncing, demanding attention and other things -- are things he'd probably be doing with his siblings if they were there.

Siouxsie: Although he has plenty of toys and loves to play with them, it seems to us that Rocky needs some animal companionship too. This would take the burden off you to meet all his playing needs.

Thomas: If it's not possible to bring another kitten into the house, maybe you can arrange "play dates" with Rocky and his littermates. It might benefit all of them, because if the others are as energetic and full of spunk as Rocky, their humans might appreciate the break too.

Sinéad: And if neither of these options are possible, then you're going to have to spend some serious play time with Rocky. Play fishing-pole and fetch with him until he's just about exhausted. Let him get out all his predatory instincts out on the toys so he stops climbing you and biting your toes.

Siouxsie: Rocky's mama will probably appreciate the respite, too. It sounds like she's just about fed up with his antics, too.

Thomas: The good news about that is, mama will probably start disciplining him more regularly.

Sinéad: Now that you're playing with Rocky until he's ready to take a nap every day, what do you do to make sure he knows how you want him to behave? Well, the only way to really "train" a cat is to reinforce the positive behavior and ignore the bad behavior.

Siouxsie: The exception to ignoring is that if he hurts you (by clawing, climbing you or biting), say "no!" in a strong but firm voice, clap your hands, and stop petting or playing with him when he does these things. Put him down if he's on your lap or on your bed. If you do this consistently, every time he does something that hurts, the minute he does it, he will get it eventually.

Thomas: You can't tell Rocky "no" and show him a mistake -- like a shredded shower curtain -- hours after he's done the damage. He won't understand what you're upset about, because he can't see the cause-and-effect relationship between the angry human and the shower curtain he shredded a while back. The punishment will seem completely random to him, and will have no effect other than to frighten him.

Sinéad: If you want to stop a cat from being destructive, you need to stop the behavior before it starts. For example, the minute you hear the sound of a rattling shower curtain, go into the bathroom and distract him with toy. He'll have fun playing and he'll forget all about the shower curtain.

Siouxsie: Climbing and claw stropping are, of course, normal behaviors for cats. Rocky needs to learn that there are things it's okay to claw and climb. If you don't have a cat gymnasium of some kind, we'd recommend that you build or buy one. If you purchase a cat tower, make sure the base is nice and heavy so that it won't fall over on top of him when he's climbing. Some cat towers even attach to the ceiling (by means of a tension rod, so they're apartment safe!) as well as having a nice, strong base. Rocky could climb and play on such a device to his heart's content.

Thomas: Another problem may be that Rocky has become "over-bonded" with you. This is really sweet in some ways, but as you're beginning to see, it's going to produce problems down the line.

Sinéad: Resolving this issue is going to take some work. Once again, an animal friend of a similar temperament and energy level would probably help a lot. If he has a buddy to play with, we're confident this will resolve a lot of the behavior issues. But if you do introduce another cat or a dog, please make sure you do it properly. There are several articles in the archives that address this subject.

Siouxsie: It's also important that Rocky be socialized with other humans. We don't know if you live with any other people, but if you live by yourself, it would be great if you occasionally invited a friend (or a few friends) over for a quiet evening together, allowing Rocky to get used to "sharing" you with other people.

Thomas: If you follow these steps, you should find that Rocky is not only a wonderfully brilliant and affectionate kitty, but a well-behaved one too.

Sinéad: We hope this helps, Debby. Please let us know how it goes. And we're glad you found us!

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail us at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the material in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.