Dear Sinéad and Siouxsie,
Here's a question. I have never owned a cat. Never was allowed as my parents were cat haters. But I love cats in general. I am fascinated by their every move, their personalities, and all the rest. I really want a cat. But the prospect scares me because I know nothing of even rudimentary cat care.

Also, my fiancée isn't too fond of cats. She likes certain cats. Well, she likes cats who in her eyes act more like dogs. Her major problems are A) A slight allergy to the cats themselves; B) The anti-social behavior she associates with cats; C) The smell she has had to deal with at various relatives' houses who don't take good care of their cats; and D) she just absolutely loves dogs.

As a compromise, we bought a chinchilla a while back for our apartment and haven't really discussed anything since. A house is in our future, and she wants a dog more than anything. This is not to say I'm not a dog person, as I have had a dog almost my entire life living at home, but I would like both a dog and a cat.

So here's my dilemma. First, how hard is it for a cat idiot (i.e., myself) to get used to cat ownership? Second, can cats and dogs get along? Third, is there any way to curb my fiancée's anxieties about cats in the first place? She is now on Zyrtek which actually gets rid of her allergy, but the other issues still abound in her mind. Fourth, what is "right" and "wrong" when it comes to cats, i.e. declawing, neutering, discipline, etc.? I've heard so many things from so many people, and I figure you'd be the best to give me a good, honest opinion.

Thanks,
Chuck

Sinéad: First of all, Chuck, we commend you for knowing enough to ask those questions in the first place! That right there says that you're a good candidate for being a cat servant.

Siouxsie: Sinéad, we have to say "cat owner" so the people can labor under the blissful illusion that they are really in charge.

Sinéad: Well, any cat person knows the truth anyway.

Siouxsie: We think that cats get a lot of bad press, and that's why some people think we're antisocial creatures who just don't care about people. If you've read our columns, you know that's not true. Sinéad and I love our person. And hey, some of our best friends are people!

Sinéad: Many cat experts are now (finally) realizing that cats are not necessarily solitary creatures who don't care about anything except themselves. After studying cat colonies, they have seen that mother cats will "babysit" other females' kittens, that there are definite cliques and peer groups, and that there is a lot of sharing and mutual grooming that occurs in these groups. Feral cats (that is, cats who were raised on the streets and not in the care of humans) are very wary of people and never bond closely with them. But properly socialized and weaned cats often establish very close relationships with the people in their lives.

Siouxsie: Cats also can get along very well with dogs. Our grammie-cat, Shaughnessy, curls up with her dog, Aki, all the time. They sleep together, eat together, and sometimes even go for walks together.

Sinéad: How well cats and dogs get along has a lot to do with early exposure. Cats and dogs have different body language, and sometimes the relationship between cats and dogs can be strained because of this. For example, when a dog wags its tail, that means it's happy and wants to play. But if a cat is swishing its tail back and forth, that means the cat is upset or overstimulated, and if you don't leave it alone, it will proably take a swipe at you. But dogs raised from puppyhood with cats learn this language early on and relate very well to their cat friends. Shaughnessy was six years old when her person adopted Aki, and since Aki knew Shaughnessy from her first days at her new home, they've become best friends.

Siouxsie: As for the smell issue, that really doesn't have to be a problem. If you take care of your litter box properly, people will barely know there's a cat in your house unless the cat wants them to know. First of all, consider the number of litter boxes. If you have more than two cats, you need at least two litter boxes. Two is about the maximum number of cats per litterbox.

JaneA: I generally don't recommend "covered" litter boxes, because it's too easy for people to ignore them. Then they become filthy and smelly and cats don't want to use them for obvious reasons. I mean, would you want to go to the bathroom in a place where you had to step on urine and feces and smelled so awful that it was like a gas chamber? I don't think so. Place the litter box in an out-of-the-way area, because cats like their privacy. I put Sinéad and Siouxsie's litter box in a little nook in the bathroom; that way, it's easy to clean, and it's out of the way.

Sinéad: Then consider the type of litter. You don't need to get fancy, expensive cat litter. In fact, we recommend that you don't get the clumping clay kind, because it gets stuck in between our little toes, and when we lick it out, we swallow it, and it can clump up inside us. Yuck!

JaneA: I usually buy a brand called Kitty-Dri, which I find at my local pet store. If they don't have any in stock, I just buy Glamour Kitty or whatever unscented cheap cat litter I can find at my grocery store. Cats don't like scented cat litters, and some are even allergic to them, so it's a good idea to avoid those. In order to keep the litter clean, you'll need to get a scooper for removing the feces. Do this at least once a day. Dump all the litter out of the litter box at least once a week, and rinse it out with hot water. Don't use bleach or smelly cleaners on it, because cats don't like strong smells. Cat litter is not flushable, and it should not be composted because of health reasons, so you will need to put it in something like a small plastic shopping bag and dispose of it with the rest of your non-recyclable garbage.

Siouxsie: As for the rights and wrongs of cat care, you have some good questions. You absolutely must have your cat spayed or neutered. If you do this before they reach puberty, you avoid unpleasant problems like spraying (another cause of cat odor problems), fighting, roaming, yowling and calling of female cats in heat, and unwanted kittens. Your veterinarian will probably recommend neutering between the ages of six and eight months.

Sinéad: Please, please don't have your cat declawed! Declawing is a form of torture. They don't just "clip the toenails," the whole first joint of the paw is amputated. It's an extremely painful operation, and cats are in pain for a long time after the surgery is over. We know of many cats who became quite crazy after they were declawed. If you decide to bring a cat into your life, let it be a cat. Train it to use a scratching post (Siouxsie and I love ours!), and learn how to trim its claws instead.

JaneA: Trimming a cat's claws is pretty easy, and any basic cat ownership book will show you how. All you need is a fingernail clipper and a quiet cat. You'll get best results with claw trimming if you get your cat used to it as a kitten.

Siouxsie: Discipline, huh? We're too good to need discipline.

JaneA: Yeah, right, Miss Tries To Eat My Food While I'm Cooking It. Chuck, what you need to know about cat discipline is that you can't train a cat like you can a dog. Dogs respond to commands and gestures more easily than cats; they've been domesticated longer and they have a hierarchical instinct. A dog will listen to you because in its mind, you are the alpha in their pack. Cats don't have that kind of hierarchy. They are social, but not particularly rank-oriented. In order to keep a cat from doing something you don't want it to do, you have to make the unwanted act an unpleasant experience. Many cat ownership and cat training books will have good advice on how to do this.

Sinéad: The best way to learn about cats is to visit or volunteer at an animal shelter. You'll find out that cats have all sorts of different personalities and habits, and you'll probably find one you love and will want to take home.

JaneA: But beware--a visit to an animal shelter might bring an impulse adoption! I know every time I set foot inside an animal shelter, I have to fight with myself not to take all of the cats home. I recommend that before you take the step of actually looking at cats with an eye to adoption, you read some books on the subject. CatSmart: The Ultimate Guide to Understanding, Caring for, and Living with Your Cat by Myrna Milani, D.V.M., is a great book to help you figure out whether or not a cat is for you and what kind of cat might best suit your lifestyle. There are sections at the end of each chapter for potential owners to think about important questions regarding veterinary issues, personality issues, and much more. This book will help you figure out what you need to know as a cat caretaker and will probably help dispel some of your fiancée's concerns about having a cat. Another book, The Cat Whisperer by Claire Bessant, will teach you how to communicate with your cat and will give you some training techniques that will help your cat to become a better feline citizen.

Siouxsie: As much as we hate them, we cats do have to have shots and visits to the vet on occasion. We need check-ups just like people, and most states have laws that require cats to have certain immunizations, primarily rabies, in the interest of public safety.

Sinéad: And a good vet is very important to have! Find a vet that you are comfortable with and that your animals like. We love our vet, Doctor Sarah! She always tells me how wonderful and lovely I am, and she doesn't even hurt me when she gives me my Shots!

Siouxsie: Don't make me come over there and bat you! I hate going to the vet!

Sinéad:Waaah, waaah, waaah. You're such a big scaredy-cat. And besides, you just don't want Doctor Sarah to tell Mama that you need to go on a diet, Miss Flabby-Flanks!

JaneA: Ladies, please.

Siouxsie: I'll get you later, Sinéad! Just you wait until Mama goes out.

Sinéad: There are a couple more things we should tell you. For your first cat (and for all your cats, really), we think it's best to adopt a cat from an animal shelter. You'll be saving its life--as most shelter animals are Put To Sleep if they are not adopted within a certain amount of time--and the cat will already have had its shots and will be tested to prove that it doesn't have feline leukemia or feline immunodeficiency virus. If it's old enough, it will already have been spayed or neutered as well.

JaneA: Yes, that's right. For an adoption fee of $50 to $75 (in midcoast Maine; fees may vary in other areas), you get a healthy, well-socialized cat friend. Of course, you can also get a kitten from a friend who's giving them away or something like that, but they probably won't have been screened for diseases or immunized--so you'll have to factor in the initial veterinary costs as well as the cost of getting cat food, litter, a litter box, etc.

Siouxsie: If you get a purebred cat, you never quite know what you're getting into. Purebreds are bred for looks rather than behavior, and many purebred strains produce genetic diseases because of the inbreeding required to get "that certain look." Often the purebreds you'll find in large pet stores or swap-or-sell-it type newspapers come from the feline equivalent of puppy mills. That means that the kittens are usually not vaccinated or wormed, may be poorly socialized, and may have behavior problems as a result of their in utero and weaning environment.

JaneA: Of course, this is not always true. There are many, many reputable cat breeders out there, and I'm sure the Ladies don't mean to disrespect the good cat breeders in our audience. We'd be happy to get a letter advising our readers what to look for in a reputable cat breeder, and we'll certainly publish it.

Sinéad: You'll want to make sure your cat has good food to eat. Good food is essential to good health. Don't go buying the cheapest cat food on the market, because it's full of chemicals and artificial colors and horrible things that I don't even want to think about!

Siouxsie: We like a good mix of kibble and canned cat food. Mama usually feeds us high-quality kibble, but sometimes we get a treat of canned yummies or meat scraps.

JaneA: Another thing you should know is that cats really shouldn't be fed canned tuna-flavor cat food. First of all, it has such a strong flavor that cats sometimes get "addicted" to it and won't eat anything else. Secondly, tuna cat food comes from the dark meat of the fish and has a high concentration of whatever pollutants have been in that fish's environment. I agree with Sinéad that you should get high-quality kibble (something like Nutro, Eagle Pack, Wysong, or Cornucopia, for example) and the best canned foods you can find (I can get Natural Value canned cat food at my local health food store for 75 cents a can, which isn't bad for an occasional treat). Organic would be best of all. If you really wanted to go crazy, you could feed your animals a raw food diet, but I think that would be a little bit much for a new cat person to take on. Over all, I think it's worth it to spend a little bit more on quality food; it's an investment in the health and long-term well-being of your cat friend.

Siouxsie: If you do adopt a cat, make sure it's at least eight weeks old. That's how long it takes kittens to be fully weaned from their mothers. Some cats may be weaned as early as six weeks, but some breeds, like Siamese, are likely to need the longer weaning period. Of course, adopting an adult cat is also a great thing, because the adult cat has already gotten its "kitten crazies" out of its system.

Sinéad: You also need to know that adopting a cat is a long-term commitment. The average lifespan of a well cared-for cat is 12 to 16 years. Mama once knew a cat that lived to be 24! Once you adopt your cat friend, be prepared to consider your cat (and your other animals, of course!) in everything you do. You will have to live in animal-friendly housing, be prepared to pay for unexpected medical costs, arrange for animal care if you go away on trips, and so on. But the rewards are well worth the extra effort, and we think that both you and your fiancée will find that sharing your lives with a cat will be a very rewarding experience.

Siouxsie: And since Mama tells us you're a cat kind of guy, we're sure you won't have any trouble communicating with taking good care of your cat friend. Good luck, and if we can be of any further assistance, please do let us know.

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail Sinéad and Siouxsie at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the advice in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.