This week's column is going to be kind of short. Poor Mama's had The Flew all weekend. We don't know why they call it The Flew, because the only thing flying around here has been germs and human-snot! We were very busy nursing her back to health -- keeping her warm when she was all shivery, getting under the blankets and purring her to sleep when she needed to rest, and so on -- and frankly, we're just exhausted.

Dear Sinéad, Siouxsie and Thomas:
My cat, Rug-Rat is an eight year old mixed breed, and he loves to sit on my TV. Now, like your human, I've also spent a lot of my life reading and studying (if you can call playing fetch with a cat 'studying') felines, but this has me stumped. I read somewhere that cats like to sit on high places, but the bookcase is higher than the TV and there's space for him to sit there. I thought it might be because the TV is warm, but he likes it even when it's been off all day. I tried putting things on the TV to keep him from sitting up there, and he nudged them until they fell off. He's got a lot of large cat blood in him, so he's really too big to be sitting on my TV, and keeps falling off when he lets his guard down. I'm getting concerned for him, because my room isn't the cleanest place in the world, and the last thing I want is for him to injure himself.

Please help me convince him that there are better places to sit!

Thanks,
~ Katters

Sinéad: Katters, the first thing we need to do is answer your question about why some cats love to sleep on TVs and monitors, laptop computers, and the like.

Siouxsie: The warmth of an operating electrical device is one factor, of course. There's nothing like feeling the heat of a CRT or a laptop battery in your fur; it's like a sun puddle in reverse!

Thomas: But did you know that even when a television or computer monitor is turned off, there are still parts inside of it that generate heat? If you look inside the back of your cathode-ray-tube TV through the vent holes when the power is off, you'll see that there's a little tiny light source in there. This doesn't generate a level of heat most humans can feel, but it is there.

Sinéad: The other factor involved in our desire to sit on TVs and other such devices has to do with what feng shui practitioners call "geopathic stress." Geopathic stress is defined, more or less, as energy that is disruptive to health and well-being of living creatures. Electromagnetic fields generated by devices such as TVs, stereos and the like can create areas of geopathic stress in your home.

Siouxsie: You see, we cats are attracted to areas of geopathic stress because we can neutralize those geopathic stresses and help the energy in our homes be more beneficial for everyone who lives there. So when we're sitting on your TV set or cuddled up next to one of those big octopus-like plug socket things you humans call "power strips," that's why.

Thomas: So, considering both the warmth of your TV and the geopathic stress that its electromagnetic field generates, it's not surprising that Rug-Rat enjoys a nap on top of your television set.

Sinéad: What can you do about that? There are a few things. First of all, it sounds like you have a rather small television. Maybe you can find or construct some sort of cabinet that holds the TV on one shelf and gives Rug-Rat a shelf above the television to sleep and satisfy his need for warmth and his need to correct your home's feng shui. Of course, in order for this to work, the space for the TV has to be small enough that Rug-Rat can't fit on top of the TV while it's on the shelf.

Siouxsie: If it's possible for you to relocate your TV somewhere else inside the room, try that and see if it's simply that Rug-Rat favors the location for his lounging activities. If the TV happens to be near a window right now, for example, he can lounge on the TV and get warmth from below and sunshine from above.

Thomas: That sounds like paradise to me!

Sinéad: The other thing you could do is try a feng shui "cure." These are usually very easy and inexpensive to do, and while neither we nor Mama tend to advocate "pop spirituality" or "pop eastern culture" as can be found in the books released by mega-publishers, Mama has been surprised to find that many of these feng shui "cures," even those found in picture-heavy and content-light books, really do seem to have some effect.

Siouxsie: You can probably find books about feng shui at your local library or bookstore.

Thomas: We hope this helps you, Katters. We're sorry we're making this answer short, but we can feel Mama's energy flagging and she still has a lot of work she needs to do today. This Flew thing is really awful!

Sinéad: Please let us know how it goes.

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail us at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the material in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.