Dear Sinéad and Siouxsie,
How do I convince my parents to let me get a cat from our animal shelter that I volunteer at? My mom doesn't want a male cat because she thinks that they spray even after they are neutered. But I have heard from people that male cats are more affectionate than females. I don't know if there is an answer to this, but if you have any suggestions I would appreciate it.

Thanks,
Saphrona

P.S. How do you pronounce your names?

Sinéad: Thanks for your letter, Saphrona. We certainly appreciate the work that you and all the other volunteers and staff do at our local animal shelters. Life would be very hard for lots of cats (oh, and dogs, too) if people like you didn't work to help them. Purrs and loving head-butts to all of you!

Siouxsie: Mama tells us that human parents can be pretty stubborn once they get ideas in their heads about what they do and don't want in their homes.

Sinéad: Have you talked to your parents about the reasons why they might not want you to adopt a cat right now? Aside from the spraying issue, which we'll discuss later, could there be other factors? For example, if you're going off to college or moving out on your own in a couple of years, maybe they don't want to have to take care of your cat for you while you're gone most of the time. Is it possible that they feel it would be too expensive to have a pet right now? Mama says times are kind of tough for people with this whole money-jobs-economy thing. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that!

JaneA: That's what your personal secretary is for, right?

Sinéad: Well, if I had opposable thumbs . . .

JaneA: I know, I know: If cats had opposable thumbs, they'd rule the world.

Siouxsie: Darn right we would. But back to the subject at hand. People parents are big on this whole "responsibility" thing, from what I hear. If you're being "responsible" about doing your work around the house, doing your schoolwork, honoring your commitments to a job or volunteer work, that could be something that might help your parents believe that you'll take good care of a cat.

Sinéad: And back to this cat spraying thing. Yes, male cats do spray, when they're sexually mature. Ugh, tomcats! They're so rude!

Siouxsie: But if you have a cat neutered before it reaches puberty, spraying won't be a problem. So if you adopt a male cat, plan to have him "fixed" around 6 months of age, or whenever your veterinarian recommends. If you're adopting from your shelter, the chances are that the kitty will already be neutered.

Sinéad: It's just a good idea to have your animal spayed or neutered, anyway. Unwanted kittens, spraying, fighting, bizarre behavior . . . all of this can be avoided if you have your cat friend spayed or neutered.

Siouxsie: About this rumor that male cats are friendlier than female cats: it's just not true!

Sinéad: Siouxsie, are we being maligned?

Siouxsie: Maligned?

Sinéad: Are we being dissed?

Siouxsie: Don't worry, Sinéad. I'll go beat up whoever's telling people we girl cats are unfriendly!

Sinéad: Relax, Siouxsie. You're not going to win any hearts and minds with your claws out and your teeth bared. Saphrona, I don't believe that gender has anything to do with how friendly or standoffish a cat is. It's all about the cat's individual personality and how well the cat was socialized with people when it was a kitten. You'll know as soon as you approach a cat how friendly he or she is to you. And also, cats will have different reactions to different people, too!

Siouxsie: When Mama's human nieces come to visit, we hide under the bed. Mama's nieces are still too small to understand how to be quiet and gentle with us, and one of them even likes to pull our tails, so we prefer not to be in their company. But we loved Mama's friend Sarah, because Sarah was quiet and gentle, and the first thing she did when she came to our house was to close the door quietly, skooch down, and gently hold out her hand while adoring us in a quiet voice. Of course, we fell in love immediately and allowed her to pet us moments after she entered our home. We know a good person when we see one!

Sinéad: So, ultimately, if you want to get a cat with a personality that matches yours, be yourself! Cats are very sensitive to people's emotions and energy, and the cat who likes your "vibes" the best will gravitate to you. Don't be surprised if it's not the cat you thought you'd like best.

JaneA: When I went to the animal shelter for the first time, with the purpose of adopting a cat, before I got three steps into the cat room, one of them actually reached out of his cage and grabbed my coat with his paw. I turned around and looked at him--and his brother--and it was love at first sight for all of us. It's funny how things like that happen.

Siouxsie: Oh, and here's another idea. Once you and your cat friend have picked each other, maybe you can bring your parents to the shelter to let them have a look at the cat you want to adopt. Maybe they'll fall for him, too.

Sinéad: If not, be patient. When you're done with school and you have a place of your own, you'll be free to adopt a cat--as long as you live in a place where your landlord lets you have pets! And when the time comes, don't forget to be really honest with yourself about whether you'll be able to take good care of your cat friend--feed him well, be there with him, provide toys and other diversions, afford the expenses of spay/neuter and checkups and shots, and all that stuff.

Siouxsie: In the meantime, you're learning a lot about how to take good care of cats from your work at the animal shelter, and this knowledge will help you a lot when it's time for you to bring home a cat of your own.

Sinéad: Oh, by the way . . . our names are pronounced shi-NAYD and SU-sie. Mama named us after her two favorite singers, Irish rock singer Sinéad O'Connor, and Siouxsie Sioux of the punk/goth band Siouxsie & the Banshees.

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail Sinéad and Siouxsie at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the advice in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.