Dear Siouxsie, Thomas and Dahlia:
My darling four-year-old would be very embarrassed if she knew I was writing this, but I think she has not given me a choice. Rosie has been our girl for three of her four years, and in all that time I don't think we have seen her clean herself more than a dozen times. This has been great for the hairball department, but not the most ideal for other reasons. You know how you greet the ones you love most by sticking your tail in the air as high as you can? Well, how do you teach a kitty to wipe so that that is a pleasant greeting, rather than a repulsive one? I have literally used baby wipes occasionally when I felt I wanted a change of scenery. I had thought it was because her generous weight -- her nickname was Garfield-a -- was limiting her flexibility, but she has shed much of it and still has little interest in her hind quarters. I would really appreciate some advice for all our sakes.

~Tonya

Siouxsie: This is a rather unusual situation, Tonya, because as you know we cats are generally quite fastidious about the cleanliness of our bodies -- including our butts.

Thomas: Usually our mothers teach us how to clean ourselves all over. But if Rosie didn't have the chance to learn how to clean herself properly (if, say, her mother died early and she was a "bottle baby"), she may never have learned this skill.

Dahlia: If we're lucky, we have other cats we can learn from. My kitty mommy didn't teach me much about cleaning myself because she went away and never came back when I was still pretty tiny. But Thomas taught me the stuff I didn't know before.

Siouxsie: Good thing, too, 'cause you smelled like poo when you first came here!

Dahlia: You're mean! You don't always smell like roses yourself, you know!

Thomas: Come on, Siouxsie, be nice to the baby. If you wanted her to learn faster, you could have taught her yourself instead of just hissing and snarling at her.

Siouxsie: I guess you're right. Turns out that little squirt isn't so bad after all. I kind of even like her a little bit.

Thomas: Anyway, back to your question, Tonya. You don't mention whether Rosie is long-haired or short-haired. Long-haired cats, especially short-faced breeds with very fine hair like Persians, typically have more trouble keeping themselves clean in that area. If Rosie is a longhair and she gets smelly because she has "cling-ons," so to speak, you can help by trimming the fur around her anus.

Dahlia: You can also adjust her diet so that her stools are more solid, if diarrhea is part of Rosie's hygiene problem.

Siouxsie: Diarrhea usually indicates either the presence of worms or an allergic reaction to the food a cat is eating. Milk and other dairy products (other than plain yogurt) can also contribute to diarrhea.

Thomas: So if you give Rosie milk, you may want to stop doing that. Feed her a very high-quality food with natural preservatives rather than chemicals.

Dahlia: You might also have to give Rosie a "Butt Cleaning 101" course. Use a paper towel or washcloth moistened with warm (not hot) water to clean her. Don't use soap or detergent wipes, because the soap may be irritating.

Siouxsie: The soap also could taste yucky and make her even less likely to clean herself.

Thomas: When Rosie gets out of the litterbox after doing her business, get the paper towel or washcloth and clean her rear end with motions similar to licking. Don't scrub across her bottom, but clean around the sides of her anus and outward across her behind.

Dahlia: Make sure the cloth is damp, not wet. You don't want water to drip down her bottom. As with humans, if fecal matter gets into the urethra or vagina, it could contribute to an infection.

Siouxsie: You shouldn't have to do this very often. She'll probably take over the chore pretty quickly once you show her how and when it should be done.

Thomas: If the butt cleaning lessons don't take hold, she may be suffering from a condition that makes it painful for her to flex herself in the way needed for cleaning her bottom.

Dahlia: If she has an old injury or a misalignment in her hips or spine, it may simply be too painful for her to scrunch up for proper cleaning.

Siouxsie: You may want to have your vet examine Rosie and make sure there's no sign of injury or other organic problems.

Thomas: If she does have pain, we'd recommend that you consult with a veterinary chiropractor as well as your regular vet. She may need some sort of physical therapy to return to full function.

Dahlia: So, Tonya, there are some things you can do that will help Rosie learn how to clean her bottom. Hopefully with these tips, Rosie will learn -- as I did -- how to make the back of herself as pleasant as the front!

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail us at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the material in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.