Dear Siouxsie, Thomas and Dahlia:
My fixed male cat loves to hop on the bed several times a night and knead my pillow. He has to put his head on me though, and his tail is towards my husband. He drools and kneads until he is satisfied, but last night he sprayed a little on my husband. It didn't smell like urine. I thought a fixed male cat wouldn't be able to do this. We got him from the shelter and they told us he was fixed. I took their word for it. He doesn't spray or mark with urine in the house. He is a lover and loves affection and human contact. But he seems to want it from me at night in bed.

He has been treated by a vet for urinary blockage, and is now on a special diet, which he doesn't like very much. Other than that, we love him and want him to be healthy. He sleeps a lot during the day and is up all night keeping us awake with kneading. What advice can you give to get him to stop these behaviors, especially the spraying?

~Gemma

Siouxsie: Well, Gemma, kneading is a kitten-like behavior. When we cats are babies, we knead our kitty mama's mammary glands to get the milk flowing so we can eat.

Thomas: A lot of cats are weaned too early, because most people who allow their house cats to have kittens separate them from the mother around 6 weeks of age. They don't realize that cats need to have access to their mothers for 8 to 12 weeks after birth in order to be fully weaned.

Dahlia: And a lot of us shelter kittens get accidentally separated before we're fully weaned. Either our stray cat mothers die before we're grown enough, or people whose cats have unwanted kittens just drop us off at the shelter as soon as we appear to be eating solid food. Of course, if our mothers give birth to us while we're in the shelter, we usually don't get rehomed until we're fully weaned.

Siouxsie: But some cats, even those who are properly weaned, persist in kneading behavior because it feels good and it makes them happy. It reminds us of those times when we were together with our brothers and sisters and our mama-cat was a big, warm, purring envelope of love around us.

Thomas: Kneading is usually not considered sexual behavior. Female cats will "tread" with their back feet if they're stroked at the base of the tail while they're in heat, but kneading with the front paws is not typically associated with courtship or mating.

Dahlia: And male cats have been known to lick their genitals and produce an erection.

Siouxsie: It is possible for fixed male cats, and even female cats, to spray, but their urine isn't nearly as stinky as that of un-neutered tomcats.

Thomas: But we're not convinced that what your kitty was doing was spraying. Cats that spray adopt a very specific posture. They back up to a vertical surface, their tails start jiggling, and a jet of urine sprays out straight onto the vertical surface.

Dahlia: You gave us a clue when you said your kitty was treated for a urinary blockage. This treatment, particularly when it involves catheters or surgery, can cause the sphincter (valve) that keeps urine from coming out of the bladder to weaken. It's possible your boy was so relaxed and happy from all his kneading that he just had a little "accident."

Siouxsie: From what you tell us, we're pretty sure your boy was properly fixed. If he hadn't been fixed, you would have no doubt that you've got a tomcat on your hands.

Thomas: If your boy still had one or both of his testicles, his urine would be very pungent, he would spray all over the place, he'd have large fat pads on his cheeks to protect his face during the inevitable fights he'd have with other tomcats, and you probably wouldn't see much of him because he'd be out roaming around the neighborhood courting all the female cats in or near his territory.

Dahlia: Obviously, tomcats are not the most subtle creatures on earth. There's no doubt your vet would have noticed these signs even if you or the shelter staff hadn't.

Siouxsie: We'd recommend that you ask your vet if your cat's treatment for the urinary blockage could cause urine leakage. If so, your vet may be able to let you know about how long it will take for your cat to get back to normal, or perhaps offer some treatment options if needed.

Thomas: As for your other issue -- keeping your cat from keeping you awake all night -- we do have some advice to remedy that situation, too.

Dahlia: First of all, daily play sessions in the morning and at night just before bed can help keep your kitty in shape and tire him out so he won't wake you in the middle of the night. A good 15-minute play session with an interactive toy before bed will work wonders for you and your kitty.

Siouxsie: After the play session, give your kitty a snack. Play plus food equals a good long nap!

Thomas: Of course, if you do add a late-night snack, you need to make sure he still gets the same amount of food he's supposed to get, otherwise he'll start gaining weight. So divide his daily ration into three portions: One for breakfast, one for supper, and one for a little pre-bedtime nibble.

Dahlia: Mama gives me a little snack at night, and I sleep really well 'cause I'm so happy my tummy is full.

Siouxsie: The play session in the morning will help your cat learn to live on your schedule, too. We cats do sleep a lot -- as much as 18 hours a day -- but you can help us sleep on a schedule that works for you by being actively engaged with us during your waking hours.

Thomas: We hope this advice helps, Gemma. Please let us know how things go.

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail us at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the material in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.