Dear Siouxsie, Thomas and Dahlia:
Pardon me, but my humans always demand attention. I don't have a moment to myself, except when they are at work.

I want to be with them, but my mother told me they were hers (especially the big one). She used to sleep on Daddy Number One's chest. But about a year ago, Mom went to the vet and never came back. She wasn't feeling too well.

I am really glad to be the only cat now, but I do get lonely sometimes. In the morning, I announce that the paper is here. I announce that I am starving for food and attention around 5:30 am. I just love the treats and catnip they give me, and they are so demonstrative. I always love to be petted in my chair at the dinner table where I can butt Daddy Two with my head and have my tummy rubbed.

I'll be 17 next month, but I look like I'm around 9. I was born under the sign of the Ram Cat, and I am very active. (Yawn!) I am a Siamese and drink lots of water. I am a little overweight, but I think it is all from the water the humans have requested I drink. I also have a unique gift: I will point out problems if something is really wrong, sort of like those dogs the humans tell me about.

My humans are very accommodating on the weekdays, but on weekends they ignore my requests for some peace and quiet. I know my humans are still very sad over the mysterious disappearance of my mother and still love me very much. But they want me as a substitute for my mother! How can we find a happy medium? I am so confused.

Inquiringly,
~Falstaffe, Mistress Quickly

Siouxsie: Well, Falstaffe, you do have a bit of a conundrum on your hands. You probably know that humans grieve when they lose an animal companion, much like we cats do. I'm still kind of sad about my sister Sinéad, and she disappeared and never came back (in her body, at least) last summer.

Thomas: Sometimes when humans grieve, they hold on to their remaining animal companions very tightly, because the loss of one reminds them that someday you're going to stop moving, too. Humans tend to have more fear of death than cats do, because we understand that death is inevitable and we prefer to live in (and enjoy) the present instead of worrying about the future.

Dahlia: On the other hand, your daddies may be trying to enjoy every possible minute with you that they can. At 17, you are a quite venerable cat, and even if you feel as sprightly as a kitten (obviously because your daddies have taken such good care of you!), you're the equivalent of 86 human years old!

Siouxsie: Sometimes we just have to put up with the quirks of our humans. You would certainly do well to allow your humans to dote on you as they please, because their hearts are certainly in the right place. They want to love you and shower you with kindness because you have been a part of their lives for a very long time. I know there are times when I just want to stretch out in a ray of sun, and sometimes Mama can't resist the urge to pet me. Even though I might have planned to sleep, I never begrudge her the chance to love on me and make me purr!

Thomas: Maybe your humans can adopt another cat, so that you can pass on your wisdom to the next generation. This might also help your humans to spread the love around, so that they're not necessarily monopolizing the quiet time a venerable cat such as yourself needs. I know you said you enjoy being an only cat, but you also said you get lonely. I personally love meeting other cats, and when Mama adopted Dahlia I was delighted to have a little sister I could take care of!

Dahlia: And I sure have learned a lot from Thomas and Siouxsie.

Siouxsie: I wasn't sure I'd like having a kitten, especially since Mama adopted Dahlia a month after Sinéad left her body, but I've got to confess it's been kinda cool having a little grand-kitten to show the ways of the world. I taught her how to give Thomas a fap! with her paw if he comes along and tries to eat her food! Tee hee hee!

Thomas: Oh, so that was you, huh? Well, I taught her how to clean her butt!

Siouxsie: Good thing, too. She sure was a nasty, poop-smelling little thing when she first got here.

Dahlia: It was the food they gave me at the shelter! It made my tummy hurt!

Siouxsie: You just keep telling yourself that.

Thomas: Anyway, Falstaffe, I do think it would help you and your humans if they were to adopt another cat. They may have held off because they're afraid they might forget about your mother. But really, no other cat can make you or your humans forget about the ones that came before.

Dahlia: That's right. Mama's never going to forget about Sinéad, or Shaughnessy, or Iris, or Purr Bear, or Castor and Pollux, or Kitty, or Maddy Gold, or Donegal, or any of the other cats that shared her life. The great thing about human hearts is that they expand when humans allow themselves to love.

Siouxsie: Sometimes it's hard for humans to open their hearts to a new love, especially when they're hurting from the loss of a previous one. When you open your heart to love, you also open your heart to the possibility of heartbreak. But the heartbreak that comes from the death of a loved one (animal or human) is a pain tempered with joy. The memories of the good times your humans shared with your Mom kitty will probably bring tears as well as smiles for some time to come.

Thomas: Mama still cries for Sinéad sometimes, and for all of her other beloved animal companions. But it's because of the wisdom our predecessors shared with Mama that we're here writing this column today. They may not be here on earth anymore, but their memory lives in every word we write.

Dahlia: We sure hope your daddies consider bringing another cat into your family. If they do, we've got lots of good information on how they can make sure the introduction goes well and the new cat learns about the rules of your house.

Siouxsie: In the meantime, our sympathies are with you and your daddies, Falstaffe.

Thomas: If you can be patient and let your humans dote on you a bit more than usual, that will be helpful to them. And if they can bring themselves to allow a new cat into their hearts, it will help all of you to continue healing from the loss of your Mom-cat.

Dahlia: Please, do write back and let us know how things go.

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail us at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the material in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.