Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:
I have recently learned that I am pregnant! My husband and I are very excited about this, but also a bit nervous about how to prep our cats. Many of our friends and acquaintances have made the choice to get rid of their cats while pregnant, and while I certainly don't want to pass judgment on their choices, that would not work for us. We made a pledge to care for and love our kittums forever, and I can't imagine not having them around. They're both extremely sweet and gentle and have never attempted to bite or scratch anyone, but Girl Kitty is super skittish and Boy Kitty is afraid of children, even silent 4-month-olds.

That being said, I'd love some information on preparing our cats to become a big brother and sister, and making the transition easier for them. I'm mostly concerned about the noise of baby's cries affecting them, and how to make that easier on them. I'm not worried about their treatment of the baby, nor am I concerned yet about how the baby will treat the cats (expect another e-mail from me next year on that one). However, I'd like to know if having an addition to the family could change their temperament, and if so, how to avoid that. I'd also love any more advice you're willing to give. I've been told to just avoid litter (which I'm doing), keep them away from the baby (but I want them to get to know each other), or get rid of them altogether (which I'm not willing to do). So some cat-friendly advice I could actually use would be awesome.

Signed,
Mama-to-Be

Siouxsie: Wow! *purrrrrrrrr* I love your introduction. "Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties" -- that's got a nice ring to it. I think we'll keep it.

Thomas: Congratulations to you and your husband on your new human baby. And thank you for being so considerate of your "fur kids" too. We'll do our best to help you make your home wonderful for all of you.

Dahlia: You're absolutely right in thinking that you don't have to get rid of your cats just because you're having a baby. And because you'll be raising your child with cats, you'll be able to help your baby be a good brother or sister to them, too.

Siouxsie: We've seen a lot of information that children raised with animals learn a lot of good things like responsibility, gentleness, and kindness to all living creatures. These are characteristics of any good human.

Thomas: That being said, a new baby is going to be a big change for all of you. Your cats will have to adjust to the fact that your baby will require a lot of very focused, hands-on attention from you and your husband. Because of that, they may not be able to get all the lap time and other things that they're used to.

Dahlia: And, of course, human babies can make a lot of noise, too. Cats respond to this noise not just because of the sheer volume, but because they understand it as a distress call.

Siouxsie: You're already doing some of the things you need to do in order to keep you and your baby safe from any potential danger. Although the risk is really quite minimal, there is the possibility of contamination with toxoplasmosis from contact with cat feces. Some time ago, we wrote a column on the facts about toxoplasmosis and pregnancy -- and how to manage the risks associated with that. You may want to review that information.

Thomas: There are other things you'll want to do in order to prepare your cats for the new arrival, too.

Dahlia: You'll want to make a decision about whether you want the baby's room to be accessible to the cats. If not, you'll need to prepare the cats for that. The easiest thing to do is to begin closing the door to the baby's room, so the cats will get used to the fact that the nursery is no longer part of their domain.

Siouxsie: If the baby is going to sleep in your bedroom, you may want the cats to get used to being kept out of that room at night or while the baby is sleeping. This will be a bit of an adjustment if your cats are used to sharing the bed with you and your husband, so we recommend that you do this gradually.

Thomas: If, on the other hand, you just want to keep the cats out of the baby's crib, you can make it inaccessible or unpleasant for the kitties to occupy.

Dahlia: The easiest way to do this is to set up mosquito netting over the crib so that the cats can't easily get into it. You can also fill the crib with noisy objects such as cans with pennies in them (the noise these objects make will not only alert you to the fact that the cat is in the crib, but will provide unpleasant feedback if the cat gets in there).

Siouxsie: To get the cats used to the new smells associated with the baby's arrival, you may want to begin using baby powder or baby lotions before the kid actually arrives.

Thomas: You can also help your cats get used to the noise that comes with a new baby. Cat behaviorist Pam Johnson-Bennett has recommended that parents-to-be record the noise of a crying baby. Then play it for the cats, first at a low volume and then gradually increasing the volume over time until it reaches the actual loudness of a baby's cry.

Dahlia: You could actually do a "twofer" -- make the crib a no-go zone for cats and acquaint them with the noise of a crying baby -- by playing the crying noises in the crib itself.

Siouxsie: It's a good idea to bring babies to your house to get the cats used to the presence of a baby. From your letter, it sounds like you've already been doing this.

Thomas: It's normal for cats to be timid about new things in their environment. And we think it's not necessarily a bad sign that your cats don't want to spend lots of time around very small babies.

Dahlia: You'll want to talk to your cats a lot. Let them know a new baby is coming, and that things are going to change. Tell them you may not be able to give them as much petting and attention as they've gotten used to, but that you still love them just as much as ever. They will understand this, and I think you'll be very pleasantly surprised at how the kitties come to love your baby.

Siouxsie: If you haven't gotten your cats used to having their claws trimmed, you'll definitely want to do so now. By keeping the cats' claws short, you'll minimize the risk that the cat could, in a moment of anxiety, scratch the baby.

Thomas: Once the baby gets into the "grabby" stage, you'll want to supervise any interaction between the baby and the cats very carefully. Babies don't intend to hurt the kitty, but it takes a while before a baby has a sense of the appropriate way to touch an animal.

Dahlia: Once the baby is able to crawl, he or she will want to chase the cats or play with them, and this is another time when constant supervision and role modeling is very important.

Siouxsie: When Mama's nieces were babies and they came over to visit, Mama watched them as they played with us, and if they started getting too rough, she would say calmly, "Be gentle with the kitty," and show the kids how to stroke our fur properly. As they got older, Mama would watch them with us and teach them about our body language. For example, she'd say, "When the kitty goes under the bed, she doesn't want to play," or "The kitty's ears are back. That means she's upset. Don't play with her right now."

Thomas: And when they were being nice to us, Mama would say, "Good job being gentle with the kitty. He's purring. That means he's happy."

Dahlia: Now we love it when Mama's nieces come over to visit. They play with us and they pet us gently, and they're kind and wonderful caretakers. The oldest one even "kitty-sat" for Mama when she went away for a long weekend trip. And she wants to be a vet when she grows up!

Siouxsie: You'll be able to have lots of wonderful and teachable moments with your baby and your cats. It will take some time for the cats to become familiar and comfortable with the new baby, but we believe that if you help them by making adjustments to your life before the baby arrives, that will really help.

Thomas: Get them used to the new noises and smells, and to any new restrictions on their territory. Gradual change is a lot easier for cats to cope with than a sudden upheaval. If you start now, by the time your baby arrives your cats will be much more prepared.

Dahlia: We think you're going to be a wonderful mommy to your new baby and to your cats, too. What an exciting time for you all. Good luck, Mama to Be. And happy Mother's Day, too!

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail us at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the material in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.