Greetings and salutations. We love this time of year, because when it gets colder, we get lots of new warm spots to enjoy. Winter means warm spots! In addition to laps and sunny windowsills, we now have dryers and heaters to enjoy, so we're happier than ever. Our writer this week has a question that's on a lot of people's minds as the holiday season approaches.

Dear Sinéad and Siouxsie:
My daughter is going to be four years old this month. I'm thinking of getting her a kitten for her birthday. My daughter loves animals, but my dog is too old for her to play with. I have another cat, but he's not thrilled with being dressed up in doll clothes. I think she'd like a kitten, and it doesn't seem like it would be that much extra care, since I already have two other animals. What do you think? Should I get my daughter a kitten?

Thanks for your advice,
Lisa

Sinéad: Lisa, it's a good thing you asked us this question.

Siouxsie: It's really not a good idea to get a child a kitten or a puppy (or a hamster, or a gerbil, or an iguana) as a gift.

Sinéad: Especially if your children are very young--and four is very young in human years--they're really not old enough to understand the responsibility of being the caretaker of an animal.

Siouxsie: Many children who get pets as birthday or Christmas gifts treat those pets like toys. They play with them constantly until the novelty wears off, and then they neglect them.

Sinéad: A lot of these living "gifts" end up at animal shelters. And that's so sad! We hate to think of sweet little kittens being neglected and abandoned like cast-off teddy bears.

Siouxsie: Animals are not toys! We need love and attention and proper care! We have feelings, and we get very, very sad if we feel like someone has stopped loving and caring about us.

Sinéad: What will probably end up happening is that you will be the kitten's caretaker. Your daughter, as a four-year-old, is really too young to understand that she has to feed this kitten every day, she has to groom the kitten, she has to clean the litterbox, and so on.

Siouxsie: You will also find out that adding a kitten to your household is more of a burden than you think. First of all, you're going to have to take the kitten to the vet to get a health screening and shots. Then, later on, you'll have to get the kitten spayed or neutered. Spaying is, of course, a more complex--and expensive--surgery than neutering. So if your finances are already tight, you should consider these factors as well.

Sinéad: We understand that you might wish to teach your daughter about the responsibility of caretaking by giving her a kitten of her own. But you need to realize that at her age, she's too young to accept such a responsibility.

Siouxsie: If you know your daughter wants a kitten, you need to talk with her about it before you actually present her with that kitten. You need to help her understand, in an age-appropriate way, what you expect of her as far as cat care goes.

Sinéad: And you also need to let her know that if she gets a kitten, it's a long-term commitment. Cats can live for as long as 25 years. She's going to need to understand that she can't just throw the kitten away once the thrill has worn off.

Siouxsie: Lisa, you also need to be realistic about how much more you, as a parent, can take on. You already have a dog and a cat living in your house, and you have at least one child. That's a lot to deal with. Do you honestly have the time, money, and emotional resources, to add a kitten to your household? If not, it would be best not to even bring up the topic with your daughter.

Sinéad: If you do finally decide that you can deal with a kitten, and your daughter, after understanding the responsibilities involved, decides that she wants a kitten, then it's time to go find one. We recommend adopting from an animal shelter. Not only do you know that the kitten you're adopting is healthy, it may already be spayed or neutered if it's old enough. We think it's well worth the adoption fee to have that guarantee. And you'll be supporting the shelter's efforts to rescue more homeless animals.

Siouxsie: Let your daughter participate in the process. Don't just present her with a kitten in a box; let her pick out the kitten she wants. That way she'll feel more "ownership" since the kitten was her choice and not just foisted off on her like some silly, obnoxious toy from her wealthy grandma who lives halfway across the country.

Sinéad: If the kitten gets to meet your daughter, the kitten will also be able to decide whether your daughter and he or she have good vibes together. Some people might think this is ridiculous, but rest assured that cats pick people more than people pick cats!

Siouxsie: And being able to pick our person is very important to us. We don't particularly like just being handed off to some bozo who wants a "pretty kitty," with no say in the process!

Sinéad: Remember, too, that humane societies all over the country recommend against giving animals as holiday gifts. Wait until after the stress of the holiday season is over. If you and your daughter still want a kitten and are able to deal with a new kitten in your house, then go to the shelter and find a kitty. Any other choice will most likely result in heartbreak for you, your daughter, or your thoughtlessly adopted kitten.

Siouxsie: We hope this helps you, Lisa, and we wish the best for you and your daughter.

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail Sinéad and Siouxsie at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the advice in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.