Greetings, fellow cats and cat-lovers. We're just waking up from a long post-birthday-celebration nap (we turned 8, so we're now officially middle-age kitties), and we do have a couple of tidbits for you this week.

Sinéad: First, it's come to our attention that there is a trend developing in some places to bring kittens to bars or pubs.

Siouxsie: Mama says you couldn't do this in America, because animals aren't allowed in restaurants and bars (unless they're "working" guide dogs or service animals).

Sinéad: But some English folk apparently are taking to this new trend, and we'd like to put a stop to it before it gets started!

Siouxsie: First of all, pubs and bars are usually filled with cigarette smoke. We cats hate cigarette smoke! It makes us cough and sneeze and irritates our little eyes.

Sinéad: Second, cats' hearing is much more acute than humans' hearing. If the music in a bar is loud to you, it must be deafening and terrifying to a cat. So think about that before you think it's cool to take your poor kitty to the local watering hole.

Siouxsie: And, of course, there's the food and drink thing. Now, I love human food as much as any cat...

Sinéad: Probably more! Hee hee hee!

Siouxsie: Watch it there, Miss Thing! As I was saying, I love human food, and so do most cats. The trouble with this is that in a pub setting, we cats can get into food that's really bad for us.

Sinéad: For example, if we eat a lot of cow-milk stuff, like cheese or cream, we get diarrhea. Nobody likes diarrhea, right?

Siouxsie: If spicy foods are on the menu (such as buffalo wings or chili), the food may taste good, but it will give us upset tummies. More diarrhea and probably vomiting, too, will be in store for you then.

Sinéad: Sugar is very bad for cats, and chocolate is deadly poison. Silly drunk humans don't think about these things when they're feeding kitty table scraps.

Siouxsie: Silly drunk humans can also step on tiny kittens that get away from their people and start roaming around. That could cause serious injury or death!

Sinéad: Mama says that she's seen silly drunk humans do other bad things like giving alcoholic drinks to dogs. You might think it's funny to get your dog drunk, but what you're doing is abuse. Alcohol is deadly poison if you drink enough of it, and dogs don't know when to stop.

Siouxsie: So if you're one of those people who thinks it's cute to give Fido a nice big bowl of coffee brandy and milk or beer, we urge you to stop it NOW! And, of course, never offer a cat an alcoholic drink--if we were foolish enough to drink it, we would get very sick!

Sinéad: We have little, tiny livers that work very hard to keep our systems detoxified. And they don't do liver transplants on cats, so if we get bad, bad liver disease, we're out of luck! *sniffle, cry*

Siouxsie: Oh, Sinéad, it's going to be okay. Don't you worry about a thing; Mama's gonna make sure your liver gets all better.

Sinéad: I hope so. Oh, no, Mama didn't poison me or give me yucky drinks, but my liver got kind of broken somehow. Mama's taking me to get an ultrasound soon, so we'll find out what's wrong with my liver. I hope it doesn't hurt!

Siouxsie: Don't you worry, Sinéad. I'll make sure you're safe. And I'll beat Thomas up if he comes around hassling you.

Sinéad: Awwww. I love you, Siouxsie! I'm glad you're my big sister.

Siouxsie: Shucks. I guess I kinda love you, too.

Sinéad: So what we're saying is, don't bring your animal friend with you for a night out on the town. It scares us, it's bad for our health, and some people think it's an act of cruelty.

Siouxsie: In other news, in a town near where we live, six emaciated dogs were seized from a home, and they're now in the custody of the Humane Society of Knox County in Rockland, Maine.

Sinéad: The dogs are alive, but they are very weak and need extensive medical care.

Siouxsie: Because animal shelters around here are very small and operate on what Mama calls "shoestring budgets," the veterinary expenses for these dogs are taxing the shelter's resources.

Sinéad: Here in rural Maine, it's not like those "Animal Cops" shows Mama sometimes watches on Animal Planet. Humane societies don't have huge buildings, huge budgets and on-site vet clinics. They rely on the generosity of local veterinarians, volunteers, community donors, and staff (who are certainly not working in animal rescue for the big bucks) to be able to rescue stray animals and find new homes for them.

Siouxsie: So when six large dogs in need of serious medical help come into a shelter, they really need our help to care for the sick animals and to provide for the needs of the animals already in their care.

Sinéad: We urge our readers, wherever you may be, to make a donation to the Humane Society of Knox County to help defray the costs of the dogs' care. You can either send a check to Humane Society of Knox County, P.O. Box 1294, Rockland, ME 04841, or you can visit their web site and make a donation by PayPal.

Siouxsie: If you want your check to be earmarked specifically for the dogs' care, write "for the Hope dogs" on the memo line. Of course, donations into the shelter's general fund are greatly appreciated, too.

Sinéad: And while you're visiting the HSKC web site, take a look at all the wonderful cats they have up for adoption.

Siouxsie: They also have a bunch of pregnant cats, so they'll soon be up to their eyeballs in kittens. Donations for the cats' care will be welcome, too, we're sure!

Got a question? Need some advice? E-mail Sinéad and Siouxsie at advice@paws-and-effect.com. None of the advice in this column is meant to be a substitute for regular veterinary care.