a poem by Sinéad O'Kitty

When we were kittens, we were told
That if we were brave and very bold
We could conquer an object of fear --
The Vacuum Monster ... oh my, oh dear!

The beast, we knew, would whine and wail,
It would suck us up by by our kitty tails
And deposit us, with dust and old fur
In a place where we surely wouldn't purr!

Noble Siouxsie decided to take on the mission
Of knocking the Vacuum from its scary position.
So one day when Mama took it out for a spin,
Siouxsie knew it was time to begin.

Mama uncoiled its tail and plugged it in
She stroked its head and, with a grin,
The Vacuum unleashed a moan so foul,
It made Siouxsie twitch her tail and growl!

Around the room the Vacuum dashed,
Greedily eating everything in its path,
Siouxsie hissed and screamed, "attack!"
The Vacuum moaned and roared right back!

Siouxsie grabbed the Vacuum with her claws of doom
And rode it 'round the living room!
She held right on, not the least bit tender,
Until the Vacuum finally surrendered.

With a purr of victory, Siouxsie descended.
She'd won the battle, the fray had ended.
As Mama curled the Vacuum's tail into its head,
Siouxsie batted it twice to make sure it was dead.

Indeed it was, and the tale is told,
How Siouxsie Mew, the warrior bold
Fought the Vacuum for all kitty-kind,
And gave us a newfound peace of mind.