In the two weeks (wow, how did that happen?) since I last updated you on Chrysanthemum — a.k.a. Kissy — and her integration into the Paws and Effect family, a lot of wonderful things have happened.
Last weekend was the first time I had the door between Kissy’s room and the rest of the house open all day. Most of the time she was, and still is, content to spend much of her time in the bed I jerry-rigged for her with a cardboard box, a sofa pillow and a couple of towels. But each day she’s been coming out of her room to explore a little deeper into the rest of the apartment.
Kissy accepts a pettie ... in the living room!
We had a minor setback last Saturday, when Kissy made her way all the way to the bathroom, which is very small and located in the back corner of my home. She got cornered in there, with Siouxsie and Thomas glaring at her from the top of the range (Thomas) and the counter by the kitchen sink (Siouxsie). She would have had to run through the narrow chasm between the stove and the sink, and she just wasn’t read to chance it. Then Thomas hopped down and approached Kissy, who was hunkered down on top of the toilet tank.
I heard the growling and its rising intensity, so I went to intervene before things could get out of hand. Unfortunately, the situation descended into a cacaphony of shrieks and claws desperately scrabbling to get a grip on polished wood floors, and Kissy went rocketing by me, straight back into her room, and hid in the closet.
About 20 minutes of closed-door time allowed everybody to chill out, and there were no further incidents that day, or for the rest of the weekend.
Kissy's out and looking around. Look at that tail held high!
Things were going so well that on Monday I decided to leave the door open all night. But before I went to bed that night, I sat down with Kissy and had a very serious talk. “This is your forever home,” I told her. “You belong here. You’re part of my family.”
My heart simultaneously broke and swelled with love as my grief for Dahlia and my love for my new family member came together in a whirl of overwhelming emotion. I started crying.
“I’d always heard legends about forever homes. The cats in the shelter would whisper from cage to cage about loving hands and soft beds and bowls full of delicious food. But I used to think it was all a fairy tale to distract us from the smell of death down the hall and the wails of sick cats and barking and yowling of dogs. It wasn’t until my kittens and I got pulled from the shelter that I began to have even the slightest hope that this forever home thing was real. But now I know it is. It is real, all you cats in the shelters watching through the bars or the windows as people walk by and look at you — maybe even play with you. Don’t despair, forever homes are real!”
~ Kissy, on the Paws and Effect Facebook page, June 6, 2012
Kissy started rubbing my hand and purring louder than I’d ever heard her purr. And I think there were several head-bonks where I felt evidence that maybe her eyes were leaking a little bit, too.
Since then, Kissy’s been coming out of her room regularly and exploring the whole house. Most of the time she goes wherever I go, hiding behind me like a shy toddler behind his mom’s legs. But every day she’s getting braver. And today, I even caught her venturing to the kitchen and beyond — while Siouxsie was sitting in my lap, as she’s doing right now while I type this post.
Here she is, in the kitchen by the pet fountain. Brave girl!
Go, Kissy, go! I’m so proud of you! Before you know it, you’ll be sitting on the couch with us enjoying movie night!
Why isn’t there a LOVE button on this darn thing! Like isn’t good enough for this post! I’m crying and smiling at the same time! You go Kissy! You go and be a brave girl and have faith that your mama loves you and some day maybe your brother and sister will love you as much! :-) Must share!
It’s getting better all the time. Fireworks are getting fewer and farther between every day. It’s only when she gets cornered that she freaks out — but I’m helping her through that. :-)
I am so glad she is starting to feel more at home there! Yeah!!!
after my sucky evening, that was so wonderful to read. I am BEYOND thrilled that she is making herself at home and part of the family…..
I type this with my little Miss on my chest. Forgive any typo’s. But I hate to disturb her when she’s so relaxed. Mistletoe is my little pocket panther. She came from a local rescue that fostered cats in the grooming business we take our dogs to. For the first month she was here, no one but me knew we had a cat. She was so traumatized that she hid under the bed, sneaking out to the litter box and food bowl. I worried that she’d never trust me and that I’d made a mistake in taking her in. But the vet said she was healthy, and I knew she had been unhappy with the rescue. There she spent all her time backed into a corner looking scared to death. So I waited, and I coaxed and then waited some more. Slowly, and a bit at a time, she began to trust me….and then she would stay out when other people came in the room. It’s been almost 10 years now. She still doesn’t love the other cats, but she’s not afraid of them. She lifts her head when the kids get rowdy, but she ignores them unless she honors my son with her attention. So Kissy, Miss says to tell you that no matter how hard it was to get here,, you’re home now. Home where there’s occasional hissing and yowling, but where there will always be soft hands and warm snuggles. So welcome home. Take your time to relax and look around. There’s no rush. You’re not going anywhere. This is what forever looks like.
Written on my iPad
My eyes are leaking too, but also with smiles :-)
Rescuing cats is one of those things that no one can possibly underdstand unless you’ve done it. The courage of some cats is astonishing, as is the calm, placid waiting by the new Mama.
As I write, Leo is wafting round my legs, purring. Now he’s jumped up onto my desk, knocking several important folders off – but the cheeky grin he gives me and the head butt makes it worthwile – this was the young cat (one of 4) that we adopted nearly three years ago. What makes Leo special is that at first he made no contact with us at all – stroking him was like stroking a block of wood – no back arching, no head butts, no purrs. He’s so different now.
Jane, you’re wonderful – Siouxie, Thomas and Kissy are very lucky cats indeed!
Jean x
Holy CRAP am I behind on the news. I am so, so, so sorry to hear about Dahlia’s passing. (hugs) But I’m also glad that Chrysanthemum has her forever home, and that the integration is going well.
This past fall I rescued three kittens I found crying in my front yard; two of them were brave, friendly little things that I found homes for. The last one (ironically the largest) must have had a bad experience, because he was truly scared of humans. Not of my other cats, but only people. I kept him because I knew finding him a good home would be difficult.
It took a lot of work to get him to learn to love. When I was finally allowed to touch him (weeks after he came) he exhibited strong fear body-language, but then when I backed off, he followed after my hand with the first purr I had ever heard from him! I believe that may have been the first gentle touch from a human he ever had. For a long time afterward, that was how he got his pets – he would seek me out with some purrs and head-bumps, but wouldn’t be able to control the fear reaction when I touched him. It took a lot of very patient, gentle head-scratching to teach him to overcome it.
Now, he is nine months old, and the most loving and snuggly kitty. He has turned out to be the most confident of all my cats and is no longer scared of people. He has also turned out to be the most demanding of cuddles!
I think giving or helping to find “forever” homes for homeless animals is about the most rewarding thing in my life- that is why I so love to hear and read about success stories such as the ones found here! Wet eyes, heck! I’m bawling half the time, lol! I’m proud of Kissy & her mama, but also kudos to Siouxie and Thomas for not making it too hard on the new gal while dealing with their own grief for Dahlia! You guys ARE my fave blog family! XXOO
Sounds like cat-lovers are telling their stories about adopting cats from shelters,etc. Last summer my most-loved 8yr old baby was hit by a car and I always need to get another cat to replace any that I’ve lost. I stopped by a crowded old horrible shelter in a resort town on the way to our cabin. The cats and dogs were kept in the one small room! Anyway I picked out a pretty 2yr old-knowing my other 8yr.old cat would not enjoy a kitten-and this turned out so great! I keep on marveling how a poor kitty could tolerate living in a small cage for 4 months and still be so very playful, affectionate, loving towards me . How could she be so friendly and well-socilazed after spending 4 months in a cage? Aren’t they wonderful? I would adopt them all if I could!
Paws up, Kissy! I know it is still a ways off, but eventually Thomas and Siouxsie will realize what a sweet kitty you are.
wow.. now my eyes are all leaky..
I hope you don’t mind my making a suggestion.. putting a play tunnel in the narrow area might help her feel comfortable running out of it if ever confronted again. One of my most recent foster kittens much preferred to be in or under something instead of out in wide open spaces.. I’d also suggest looking into Spirit Essences or Rescue Remedy to help smooth things out. I’ve used several of the Spirit Essences on fosters, and had great success with RR with one of my own cats.