Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:

I am fostering a mother cat who just gave birth to five kittens. As I write this, the kittens are two days old, and my little girls are dying to pet and hold them. Is this a good idea? I don’t want to see Nala, the momma cat, become resentful toward her kittens if they’ve been touched and handled. Nala’s restless, but I’ve been keeping her in a warm room with the kittens. How much longer should Nala stay in the room without going out of the room to roam around the house? She’s has been a very kind and good mommy to her five kittens. Please give me some suggestions and tips. Thanks!

~ Adrienne

This is Rosabelle, a cat who showed up pregnant and hungry on our Grammie's doorstep. Grammie took her in and fostered her and the kittens, and with the help of her local animal shelter found good homes for the babies. Along the way, Grammie fell in love with Rosabelle and adopted her! The kittens were about 10 days old when this photo was taken.

Siouxsie: Your instinct to keep your daughters from handling the newborn kittens is a good one, Adrienne. Mother cats can become quite anxious if their very young kittens are frequently handled — especially if they’re being handled by people they don’t know.

Thomas: It is okay, and actually a good idea, to socialize the kittens to people at an early age, though.

Dahlia: So we’re going to tell you how to go about socializing and petting the kittens without driving mama cat crazy or over-stressing the babies.

Siouxsie: First of all, the mother cat should always be present when the kittens are handled. Do not touch or hold them when she’s away, until they’re at least two weeks old.

Thomas: Did Nala meet your girls before she gave birth? If so, did she get comfortable with them? We ask because if Nala already had a good relationship with your daughters, their visits to the kittens are going to be less stressful for her.

Dahlia: If you do bring your girls in to pet the kittens, make sure they know it’s very important to be quiet and gentle. If they do the typical little-kid “squee and grab” thing, Nala’s going to absolutely freak out!

Siouxsie: We suggest that you bring the girls in one at a time. This will reduce the stress on mama-cat (and mama-human).

Thomas: Gentle petting is okay — stroking a kitten’s back with one finger, for example — but don’t pick the kittens up until their eyes open. Imagine how you’d feel if you were blind and suddenly something grabbed you and yanked you into the sky!

Dahlia: Whenever you’re visiting with Nala and petting her kittens, be very careful to monitor her body language for any signs of anxiety. If she demonstrates signs of tension or anxiety, it’s time to back off!

Siouxsie: This PDF is an excellent reference guide to the stages of cat body language from calm and relaxed to utterly terrified. We strongly suggest you print it and share it with your daughters. Bring it with you when you take them to visit Nala and the kittens and if she starts showing any signs of tension or anxiety, it’s time to leave.

Thomas: But we strongly recommend that even gentle, quiet handling by the children not be done more than twice a day.

Mama holds one of Rosabelle's kittens. He's about 10 days old (you can tell because his eyes are open) and Mama's supporting his body.

Dahlia: Once the kittens’ eyes are open, you can start picking the kittens up and holding them a few times a day … as long as mama-cat approves, that is!

Siouxsie: When the kittens start crawling around and exploring on their own, it’s okay for the girls to handle them more often.

Thomas: Be sure when you pick the kittens up that you support their bodies well. If you hold them by their front legs and let their back ends hang in the air, they’ll get frightened and cry. This will, of course, make Nala anxious, too.

Dahlia: Now, on to your next question — when is it okay to let Nala leave the room?

Siouxsie: Mama says that when she’s raised kittens, she’s kept the mama and babies confined to one room for about a week. After that, it’s all right to let mama-cat out of the room so she can explore and get some respite.

Thomas: To minimize Nala’s anxiety, be sure to keep her bedding and litterbox clean. Also, make sure the litterbox is on the opposite side of the room from the kittens’ nest and food supply.

Dahlia: One more thing: while she’s nursing, Nala should be allowed to eat as much as she wants. She needs as much energy as she can get so she can provide enough milk for her babies to get big and strong.

Siouxsie: Good luck, Adrienne. And thank you for being willing to foster Nala and her kittens until they’re ready to find their forever homes. *purrrrrr*

Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:

I found Diva and Tater on Craigslist. They were 9 weeks old at the time, and they were healthy and happy. I brought them into a household with one 4-month-old rescue female kitten from a vet’s office. It was instant adoration! They thought of Gracie as “Mom.” They “nursed” on Gracie, who was a fixed female by then, and she seemed to love it. Both of the kittens purred and purred, loud and clear, whenever they were near Gracie. But when they weren’t near Gracie, I never heard them purr. Ever. Even when they’re being loved on or being fed, they never made a peep. I tried putting my ear to their throats when they were “smiling” — nothing! They are now 10 months old and they’ve long since stopped trying to nurse, so I never get to hear that soothing, calming purr I get from Gracie. I’ve had cats all my life, and I’ve never had one that didn’t purr. Have you ever run into this weird quirk before? Will they always be this way?

~ Charlene

Cats don't always purr when they're delighted. Sometimes they just "smile" and snuggle.

Siouxsie: Good question, Charlene.  As a long-time cat caretaker, I’m sure you know about the whys and wherefores of purring, but we’ll explain it briefly for our readers who may not .

Thomas: Purring is an instinct. Kittens are born knowing how to purr, and they do so while nursing. The mother cat purrs right back at them.

Dahlia: Purring is not only a measure of contentment, but it functions as a relaxation tool. Cats can purr when they’re in pain, and sometimes even when they’re dying, because the sound of the purr seems to release endorphins — natural painkillers.

Siouxsie: In any case, because kittens instinctively purr when they’re nursing, it’s not surprising that Diva and Tater would have purred loudly as they were nursing on their big sister, Gracie. Not only was the behavior hard-wired, but it probably soothed them while they were making the transition to their new environment.

Thomas: There are all kinds of purrs, and a wide variation in the loudness of those purrs. Some cats literally have “motors,” which you can hear from feet away, while some purr so quietly as to be inaudible to humans.

Dahlia: Sometimes the only way you can tell a cat is purring is to hold your finger over his throat to see if there’s a vibration.

Siouxsie: Also, just because a cat doesn’t purr, that doesn’t mean he’s unhappy or doesn’t love you. It just means that he doesn’t relate to you in the same way he relates to a mother cat. I’m sitting in Mama’s lap right now and I’m happy as can be — but I’m not purring.

Thomas: If Diva and Tater show you affection in other ways, then they certainly love you and enjoy your company. A “smile” is just as much a gesture of contentment as a purr.

Dahlia: There are times I don’t purr, even when I’m happy and relaxed in Mama’s arms. It’s not because I don’t love her; it’s just that sometimes I want to meditate in blissful silence!

Siouxsie: We don’t know the answer to your question about whether or not they will ever purr audibly.

Thomas: But don’t be surprised if one day when you’re really sick or you’ve hurt yourself badly, they snuggle up next to you and start purring.

Dahlia: A cat’s purr has been measured at a sound frequency of 25 to 150 hertz — a frequency range which has been shown to stimulate bone growth and healing.

Thomas: So, one day you might find yourself the beneficiary of some “purr therapy.”

Dahlia: Even if Diva and Tater never do utter an audible purr, rest assured that if the rest of their behavior says they’re happy, they love you and enjoy your company!

Kitties’ note: Mama’s been having kind of a rough day today, and she said the only way she could manage to help us write our column was if we had a happy question to answer. And lucky for us, in the wee hours of the morning, this letter came through!

Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:

I found two beautiful kittens on the side of a highway. It took me nearly an hour to get them in my car. When I got them home one was very nervous and the other jumped right into my lap! Now it seems they’ve grown to adore me … well, so I think. Every night they sleep with me. They constantly lick me. Not just that; they are always following me, walking under my feet. When I walk in the door they act if they havent seen me in weeks! I wake up to them licking and purring in my ear. What does this mean?

~ Stephanie

Thomas and Dahlia are completely smitten with one another.

Siouxsie: Well, Stephanie, what it means is that you’ve got two kittens that are absolutely, madly, blissfully in love with you.

Thomas: All these behaviors are things that cats do with their mothers. Apparently you rescued them so young that they’ve imprinted on you as their mother and/or as a sibling.

Dahlia: Sleeping together helps kittens keep warm and helps them feel safe in a great, big world. And the fact that they’re sleeping with you says they see you as a protector and a friend, too.

Siouxsie: You did a wonderful thing by rescuing these kittens, because they certainly would have died if it hadn’t been for you. I tend to believe that on some level they know you saved their lives.

Thomas: Now, there’s one behavior you might want to try to modify a bit, and that would be the walking-under-your-feet thing. That could be a problem if, say, you injure your leg and are having trouble walking, and they keep darting back and forth and under your feet when you’re already in pain and don’t have as much control over your movements.

Dahlia: If there’s a specific time when they are most likely to walk under your feet — perhaps when you’re making their meals — you might want to carry a toy or two with you and toss the toys, one at a time, as far away as you can.

Souxsie: They’re kittens, so they’ll chase anything that moves.

Thomas: If practiced regularly, toy-tossing could help them “forget” to walk under your feet after a while.

Dahlia: This technique can also help if they get into the unfortunate habit of dashing for the door as soon as you open it.

Siouxsie: Otherwise, just relax and bask in the love that your two little refugees are giving you.

Thomas: We’d be remiss if we didn’t put out a little reminder on the importance of proper veterinary care, including making sure your kittens are spayed or neutered before they reach sexual maturity.

Dahlia: What you do now to ensure their good health — from vetting to feeding the highest-quality food you can afford to give them to providing exercise and intellectual stimulation — will result in many happy years with your sweet babies.

Siouxsie: Good luck, Stephanie, and please write back if we can answer any questions you have about keeping your kittens healthy.

Thomas: If you’ve read this far, you’re going to get an extra-special treat. We want to spread some smiles and make you melt from the cuteness, so here’s a video of Dahlia and me gettin’ our groom on.

Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:

I just got a kitten three weeks ago. She’s normal in every way except that sometimes she will lay down and chew or suck on her tail. Apparently she likes it — she purrs while she does it and it puts her to sleep — but I’m a little worried about it. If I take her tail away from her mouth, she wakes up and looks everywhere for it. I’m a little lost, and I’d be grateful if you could tell me what to do about this.

~ Mariah

Tail sucking is unusual but it's generally not anything to worry about.

Siouxsie: Tail sucking is unusual, for sure, but there are plenty of cats that do it.

Thomas: Experts tend to think that the reason some cats suck on their tails is because they were weaned away from their mother’s milk too early, or because they were orphaned and didn’t have the chance to suckle on their mom at all.

Dahlia: Tail sucking provides a sense of security, just like regular nursing. You can tell it makes her happy because she purrs and relaxes into sleep while she’s nursing on her furry appendage.

Siouxsie: Your baby may get over her tail sucking behavior after a while, but it might stay with her for her entire life and manifest more often when she’s stressed.

Thomas: You don’t have to worry about your kitten’s tail sucking as long as she’s not doing it constantly and it’s not irritating her skin and causing sores to form.

Dahlia: Do keep an eye on her litterbox behavior and make sure she’s pooping normally. If she acts like she’s got an upset stomach — say, maybe her appetite is a bit “off” or she’s throwing up — she may have a hairball. Usually an over-the-counter remedy like Petromalt or Laxatone will help the hairball move smoothly through her system and get her feeling up to par again.

Siouxsie: Do check the skin on the end of her tail every day, just to make sure she’s not developing sores. With constant aggravation and sucking, these wounds could become infected pretty quickly. If her sucking gets to the point where she’s self-injuring, your vet may have some ideas about how you can keep her from going to town on her tail, at least until the wound is healed.

Thomas: We don’t think you should try and stop your baby from nursing on her tail unless the licking and sucking reaches that self-mutilation level.

Dahlia: You might want to thank your lucky stars that she’s chosen to suck on her tail rather than on your blankets or clothes. Some cats are prone to “wool-sucking” behavior, in which they suck, chew, and even eat fabric! This behavior is more common in Siamese and other Oriental breeds, but it can happen in ordinary mixed-breed cats too.

Siouxsie: If you notice that the nursing behavior seems to be escalating, your kitten may be reacting to stress in her environment. Take steps to address that stress, perhaps through bringing pheromone diffusers into your home, ensuring that she has enough horizontal and vertical territory, and introducing new pets or people slowly and carefully.

Thomas: The bottom line is that as long as your baby girl is happy and healthy, we really don’t think you have to worry about her silly but oh-so-cute habit.

Dahlia: As a testimony to just how common tail-sucking is, there are dozens of videos online showing cats of all sizes, types and ages enjoying a good, sloppy nursing session with the tip of their tails. Here’s one that we thought was especially cute: