Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:

I have two male cats. They are brothers but from different litters and this started when they were younger (well on my male cat’s part anyway). My male cat is always trying to “hump” my sister’s male cat. I thought it was because he wasn’t getting to go outside as much as he wanted and so I allowed him to stay out as long as he wanted and hoped that it would help but he does even more so now. I mean he is literally (or so it seems) trying to mate with the male cat. I know that having him fixed might help a little bit but I can’t afford that right now and so my biggest question is, how can I stop my male cat from trying to mate with the other male cat? It’s getting a little ridiculous and annoying. I love my cat and I don’t want to get rid of him! Help me please.

~ Tracy

Siouxsie: Well, Tracy, your cat is most likely mounting your sister’s cat because he’s frustrated.

Thomas: He’s sexually mature, and he can smell the female kitties in heat in your neighborhood, but he has no way of getting to them.

Dahlia: So he displaces this sexual frustration onto your sister’s cat in the form of sexualized aggression.

Siouxsie: We’re not surprised the behavior escalated after he got to go outside, because at that point he not only smelled the ladies waiting to experience his manly charms, but he probably had some run-ins with neighborhood tomcats too.

Thomas: We’re willing to bet that your cat has started spraying, too. That’s how male cats leave love notes for the ladies and threats of grievous bodily harm for other toms.

Dahlia: And if he’s started spraying, we’ll also bet that other cats have been spraying in your yard, too.

Siouxsie: This aromatic invasion has almost certainly made your cat feel as though his territory is under attack.

Thomas: The territorial stress also helps to increase your cat’s need for aggression, and your sister’s poor kitty just happens to be in the line of fire.

Dahlia: We hate to break it to you, Tracy, but the only way you’re going to be able to put a stop to this behavior is by having your cat neutered.

Siouxsie: There are low-cost spay/neuter clinics just about everywhere in the US and Canada, and in Europe and many other places in the world, too, so there’s really no excuse not to have your cat fixed. Some states even offer voucher programs for low-income individuals to have their pets spayed or neutered for free.

Thomas: Contact your nearest animal shelter or humane society to see what programs are available in your area.

Dahlia: There are a couple of websites that offer searchable databases for low-cost spay/neuter clinics in your state. Some states don’t have complete listings (Maine doesn’t; we checked), which is why we recommend you call your local shelter first. But it’s a place to start.

Siouxsie: Here’s the ASPCA’s low-cost spay/neuter clinic database …

Thomas: NeuterSpay.org provides a searchable database of low-cost or free spay/neuter resources for pets and feral cats in the United States. They also have listings for Canada and Europe.

Dahlia: While your cat is getting the snip, so to speak, check by your doors and windows (inside and outside) and around your yard with a black light to find spots where male cats have sprayed. Then clean those spots with products designed to remove urine odors and stains. We recommend Anti-Icky-Poo if you’re in the market for a pre-made product. A solution of white vinegar and water (mixed 50/50) can also do the job.

Siouxsie: We’d also recommend that you use Feliway Comfort Zone spray and diffusers in your home in order to reduce your resident cats’ stress level. Feliway is a synthetic version of “happy cat” pheromones, and we’ve found it very effective in reducing aggression and urine marking.

Thomas: You can shop around to see if you can get a better price on the Feliway, but from what we’ve seen, the prices at the linked site are well within the norm.

Dahlia: Good luck, Tracy — and get that cat fixed!

Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:

I have a question about my 9-month-old cat Luna. I just adopted her from someone four days ago, and she’s my first cat. She seems okay to me, she sleeps with me sometimes and lets me rub her, I’ve seen her knead my blankets, she likes to play, and she is okay in the litter box. I have been busy with work the last week — I’ve been gone for eight to thirteen hours a day. She has been meowing incessantly and just this night it has gotten very sad/whiny sounding. I’m not too sure what to do; I pet her as much as I can when she does and I also try to play with her (she doesn’t seem too excited though). What can I do? Is this loneliness?

Also just a curious question about her: When I pet her back she kind of scratches her back paws in a clawing/kneading motion and drags herself across the floor. Have you ever seen this? Any idea what this means?

And if you have any good new cat owner resources I would appreciate it! I’ve Googled constantly since receiving her but still feel so new!

~ Janet

Siouxsie: Congratulations on your first cat companion, Janet. It sounds to us like you’re going to be an excellent caretaker for your new kitty. We really appreciate that you’re doing everything you can to learn about your cat’s needs and behavior!

Thomas: Regarding your first question — it could very well be that Luna is lonely or bored. She’s in a totally new environment and she’s alone for a large part of the day. It’s hard for most cats to get used to that, especially when they’ve been surrounded by other cats or they come from a home where there are always people around.

Dahlia: Some people would tell you to get another cat to keep Luna company. But you may or may not be able to do that. Since Luna is your first cat, we wouldn’t blame you at all if you wanted to keep your feline family to one member until you get used to having a cat in your life.

Siouxsie: One way you can help Luna feel less lonely while you’re away is to leave a radio on, turned to a low volume. We’d suggest that you choose a station that broadcasts a mixture of fairly mellow music and talk, so that she can hear human voices in the background.

Thomas: There are “cat TV” videos that you can leave playing while you’re away, too. These videos show birds and animals playing, among other things, and can keep an indoor kitty entertained for hours. There are a number of these on the market, and this page shows five sets that are available through amazon.com.

Dahlia: We’d recommend that you find other ways to handle Luna’s midnight serenades, though. It’s unfortunate but true that every time you pet her when she’s meowing in the middle of the night, you’re giving her positive reinforcement to continue that behavior.

Siouxsie: Cat behaviorist Pam Johnson-Bennett recommends ignoring those vocal demands. Do anything you have to do in order not to hear her crying: put in earplugs, read aloud, or whatever. Just don’t respond to her.

Thomas: If you can catch her getting ready to go into her meowing phase, you can distract her with interactive play.

Siouxsie: Pam Johnson-Bennett actually wrote the best cat behavior modification and reinforcement book we’ve ever seen – Think Like a Cat. In it, she explains why cats exhibit certain behaviors, how those behaviors originated through their instincts, and how you can use their instincts to help cats behave in a way you want them to.

Thomas: We recommend this book to everyone who has a cat, whether they’re a first-time cat owner like you or whether they’ve lived with cats for years. She’s also written a number of other cat behavior books, which you can find in our Amazon.com shop.

Dahlia: One thing we have to ask, though: Is Luna spayed? If not, she may be carrying on and meowing more than usual because she’s in heat. If she hasn’t been spayed, we strongly recommend that you get it done as soon as possible. Cats in heat are great escape artists, and if they mate there’s a virtually 100% chance they’ll get pregnant. You don’t want to have a house full of unexpected kittens!

Siouxsie: You also asked about your cat dragging herself across the floor when you pet her. Sometimes cats do this because it feels so good to be petted.

Thomas: But again, if Luna isn’t spayed, she could be showing signs of being in heat. A cat in heat will react to having her back rubbed by kneading her back feet on the floor and assuming a swaybacked posture that makes her genitals more accessible to a male cat. She may even twitch her tail aside.

Dahlia: Sometimes when Mama pets me and it feels really good, I like to drag myself around by my front claws and make sure her hands are right where I want to be petted! Of course, I’m spayed, so there’s no way I’d be in heat.

Siouxsie: Mama wrote the entire Kittens section at the Catster website, and you might want to go there and read through it. Even though some of it is geared toward kittens younger than Luna, we think you will find some helpful information there about diet, vaccinations, vet care, and other things that a new cat owner should know.

Thomas: So, in short: Find ways to keep Luna entertained while you’re away, don’t reinforce negative behavior like excessive vocalization, and if she’s not spayed, get it done as soon as you can.

Dahlia: We hope that Pam Johnson-Bennett’s book and the Catster website will help you in your quest to be the best cat caretaker you can be. Please feel free to write back and tell us how Luna is doing; we love to hear from our readers!

After Siouxsie and I settled our little dispute, things got much calmer in our little apartment. With our newfound understanding, it seemed as though our lives were forever changed for the better. But when a white car arrived at the farm in the deep of winter, there was no way I could have known it would bring a hurricane-sized cat-tastrophe with it.

Of course, I noticed that when the car arrived, some things changed right away. With the addition of four more people, there was even more barking and screaming coming from the big house – along with the wails and cries of human kittens and the endless yapping of some dog-like thing that was no bigger than Thomas.

With all the excitement, I guess it’s understandable that I missed the other new arrival.

But then one afternoon, Barking Man and Yallin’ Man (that was the new male human) were outdoors feeding the goats. They stopped for a quick smoking break and SHE came around the corner.

“Hey, Mista! Throw me somethin’!” the agouti-furred cat called, swishing her tail to the side and casting her rump provocatively into the air.

“Oh haah, Miz Kittih,” said Yallin’ Man as he reached down to pet the offending puss.

Barking Man said, “That cat’s in heat, you know. You’d better get her fixed before you’ve got a litter of kittens on your hands.”

“But Ah caint afford to do that,” Yallin’ Man said. “Ah haven’t been able to fahnd a job up here.”

The cat rolled around on a patch of dry ground with her tail whipping back and forth. “Mah honeypot’s on FAIIIIIIII-yaaaaah!” she cried.

“You should ask her,” Barking said, pointing to Mama’s apartment. “She loves cats, and she’ll be willing to help you do the responsible thing.”

Siouxsie uttered a grumble as she stared down at the tableau below. “Look at that little minx!” she sneered as the four-legged intruder continued her flirting.

Well, the caterwauling and carrying on only got worse from there. And sure enough, the Yallin’ family did discuss Miz Kitty’s delicate state with Mama, as well as the fact that they were at a loss as to how they were going to do what needed to be done.

Naturally, Mama, being who she is, told them she’d take care of it. I snickered as I listened in on Mama’s phone call to the vet’s office: that cat was gonna get shots, a checkup, FIV and leukemia test, and finally … a Spay!

“Nanny-nanny-boo-boo,” I sang to Miz Kitty the next day as she strutted around the yard. “I know something you don’t know!”

“Oh, really,” she said with a flick of her tail. “How special.”

I didn’t know how she managed to look down her nose at a cat sitting 10 feet above her!

But I was the one who had the last laugh when Mama swept Miz Kitty into a portable prison and whisked her off to Doctor Sarah.

“Well, that takes care of that,” Siouxsie said, cleaning and buffing her whiskers with a front paw. “We’ll never have to see that peanut-headed little hussy around here again!”

A few days later, I was rousted out of my afternoon nap by the sound of Siouxsie uttering her most menacing growl. “What is it?” I gasped.

“She’s back!” Siouxsie snapped. “That nasty, snooty little funny-furred freak of a cat is BACK!”

“Uh-oh,” Thomas said. “Mama’s bringing her here!”

“What?” I squeaked.

Sure enough, when Mama opened the door, she was carrying a crate full of sleepy Miz Kitty in one hand and a bunch of grocery bags in the other.

We all sat in front of the portable prison and glared at Miz Kitty while Mama turned on the heater. The still-sedated cat opened one eye and looked at us.

“Well, how do you do?” she said in a syrupy voice. “Ah’m Miz Katrina, and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Thomas sat up straight. “Why madame, the pleasure is all mine,” he responded.

“Hi,” I said. “I’m sorry you got Spayed. I know it hurts.”

“Cher, I survived the worst storm ever in history. I dang near blew away in all that rain and wind, and I can certainly survive a little ol’ spayin’.”

Siouxsie growled.

“Well, I dare say,” Miz Katrina, said. “That’s no way to greet a stranger.”

“This is my house, and I’m the Top Cat,” Siouxsie said. “As long as you remember that, we’ll get along just fine.”

That was about the last time any of us were on speaking terms.

There she is: the intruder herself! I'm still traumatized when I see pictures of her. *sniffle*

As soon as Miz Katrina recovered from her surgery, she started chasing me around the house and clawing at me! Of course, she never did it when Mama was home. All Mama ever saw of Miz Katrina was purrs and snuggles and Please and Thank You, Ma’am.

But Mama was no fool. She saw the tufts of fur left from the daily fights. She couldn’t help but notice the misery in Thomas’s eyes as Miz Katrina pushed him out of the way to demand petties. And as for me, I spent all my time hiding under the bed. I only came out to eat because Mama was around and I knew she’d protect me. When Mama was away, I couldn’t even go to the litterbox without Miz Katrina beating me up!

But I was so sad! I didn’t think I’d ever be able to snuggle with Mama again! I skulked around the edges of the room with my head low and my tail practically dragging on the ground.

Finally, entirely too many naps later, Mama decided she’d had it! It happened when I was just trying to get a drink of water and Miz Katrina pinned me to the floor and started raking at my tummy with her claws. Mama stomped her foot and smacked her hand on the table. “That! Is. Enough!” she yelled.

The four of us ran for the corners as the goats bleated their annoyance at their noisy upstairs neighbor.

“The four of you listen up. Especially you, Miz Katrina,” Mama said. “Katrina, I welcomed you into my home because you needed a place to stay. But I told you even as I was taking you home from the vet that you have to get along with Siouxsie, Thomas and Dahlia if you’re going to stay.”

“It’s been almost a month, and you’re still fighting with your hosts … and you need to drop that attitude right now!”

I slunk out from my corner and gave Mama’s boot a tentative head-rub.

Miz Katrina glared at me. “You go fais do-do, little girl,” she said. “Adults are talking.”

“Stop that!” Mama snapped, shaking her finger at Miz Katrina. “You’d better cool it, Miz Thang, because if I don’t see a big change in your attitude in the next few days, I’m going to have to find you a new home.”

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As I blissfully relived the thrills of Fangs Giving and Crisp Mouse, I noticed something was starting to change inside me.

It started small: just the tiniest little hint of a tingle in my tummy. I barely noticed at all, as a matter of fact, until Siouxsie started being even meaner than usual to me. I couldn’t even glance at her from across the room without being cussed at or threatened with a swat.

I mean, I’d gotten used to her regular kind of bad temper, but this was far beyond what she’d done before. Even Thomas was shocked at her nastiness.

Finally, after the fourth outburst in less than two naps since Mama had left for the day, he ran up to Siouxsie and gave her a sound thwack on the ear. “What is wrong with you?” he demanded. “Get the kink out of your tail and shut up.”

Siouxsie’s eyes went wide. But after a moment’s shock, she hissed viciously and swung at Thomas. “What? You don’t notice it?” she snarled.

“Notice what?”

“Oh my Bast, you are so! Clueless!”

“What do you mean?”

“Yeah, what do you mean?” I asked.

“Shut up, you nasty, poop-smelling little kitten!” Siouxsie growled. “Thomas! You know just as well as I do that before we can get three more naps in, that feckless creature is going to be running around the house moaning ‘My honey pot’s on fire! My honey pot’s on fire!’ just like that little hussy Miss Katrina.”

“Oh,” Thomas said. He made a grimace and taste-smelled the air a few times. “I see what you mean.”

“What do you mean? What’s going on?!?” I begged.

“All the nasty, half-feral tomcats from miles around are going to be flocking to our home, that’s what it means,” Siouxsie said.

“I still don’t get it.”

Suddenly the tingle in my tummy spread into my back and became itchy and hurty at the same time. It abated as quickly as it came, but then I got the urge to lick my bottom even though I hadn’t gone to the litterbox recently.

“Will one of you please tell me what all the fuss is about?” Dahlia cried.

Thomas sat down next to me and gave me a quick lick on the ear. It gave me an entirely unusual frisson of … a feeling I just couldn’t describe. “Come up on the cat tree with me, darling. It’s time for us to have a talk.”

I settled down next to him, flank to flank, and looked out the window as fresh-falling snowflakes danced in the wind.

What? You mean I've got a heater inside me?!?!

“So,” Thomas said, “here’s what Siouxsie is all upset about: You’ve reached, um, a certain age. And when girl cats reach that certain age, a heater goes on inside them. That heater makes them act all crazy and funny until it goes off again.”

“Is that true? How do you know?”

“My sisters told me all about it,” Thomas said.

“I’m glad I have a heater. It’s cold in here!”

“But the unfortunate thing about your heater is that you can’t turn it off when you’re warm enough. It stays on until you get so hot that you need a boy cat to turn it off for you.”

“Could you turn off my heater if I get too hot?”

“Well … no,” Thomas said. “I’m noodered, which means I can’t turn off heaters anymore.”

“I’ll share my heat with you, Thomas. And Siouxsie too, even though she’s being so mean to me.”

“Oh, hush your silly kitten mouth!” Siouxsie said. “Besides, Mama’s gonna notice you’re In Heat too, and she’s gonna get you spayed.”

“What’s a spade for?” I asked. “Will it help me turn my heater off if I get too warm?”

“Oh, it’ll turn your ‘heater’ off, all right,” Siouxsie said. “You can count on that!”

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