Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:

I have two male cats. They are brothers but from different litters and this started when they were younger (well on my male cat’s part anyway). My male cat is always trying to “hump” my sister’s male cat. I thought it was because he wasn’t getting to go outside as much as he wanted and so I allowed him to stay out as long as he wanted and hoped that it would help but he does even more so now. I mean he is literally (or so it seems) trying to mate with the male cat. I know that having him fixed might help a little bit but I can’t afford that right now and so my biggest question is, how can I stop my male cat from trying to mate with the other male cat? It’s getting a little ridiculous and annoying. I love my cat and I don’t want to get rid of him! Help me please.

~ Tracy

Siouxsie: Well, Tracy, your cat is most likely mounting your sister’s cat because he’s frustrated.

Thomas: He’s sexually mature, and he can smell the female kitties in heat in your neighborhood, but he has no way of getting to them.

Dahlia: So he displaces this sexual frustration onto your sister’s cat in the form of sexualized aggression.

Siouxsie: We’re not surprised the behavior escalated after he got to go outside, because at that point he not only smelled the ladies waiting to experience his manly charms, but he probably had some run-ins with neighborhood tomcats too.

Thomas: We’re willing to bet that your cat has started spraying, too. That’s how male cats leave love notes for the ladies and threats of grievous bodily harm for other toms.

Dahlia: And if he’s started spraying, we’ll also bet that other cats have been spraying in your yard, too.

Siouxsie: This aromatic invasion has almost certainly made your cat feel as though his territory is under attack.

Thomas: The territorial stress also helps to increase your cat’s need for aggression, and your sister’s poor kitty just happens to be in the line of fire.

Dahlia: We hate to break it to you, Tracy, but the only way you’re going to be able to put a stop to this behavior is by having your cat neutered.

Siouxsie: There are low-cost spay/neuter clinics just about everywhere in the US and Canada, and in Europe and many other places in the world, too, so there’s really no excuse not to have your cat fixed. Some states even offer voucher programs for low-income individuals to have their pets spayed or neutered for free.

Thomas: Contact your nearest animal shelter or humane society to see what programs are available in your area.

Dahlia: There are a couple of websites that offer searchable databases for low-cost spay/neuter clinics in your state. Some states don’t have complete listings (Maine doesn’t; we checked), which is why we recommend you call your local shelter first. But it’s a place to start.

Siouxsie: Here’s the ASPCA’s low-cost spay/neuter clinic database …

Thomas: NeuterSpay.org provides a searchable database of low-cost or free spay/neuter resources for pets and feral cats in the United States. They also have listings for Canada and Europe.

Dahlia: While your cat is getting the snip, so to speak, check by your doors and windows (inside and outside) and around your yard with a black light to find spots where male cats have sprayed. Then clean those spots with products designed to remove urine odors and stains. We recommend Anti-Icky-Poo if you’re in the market for a pre-made product. A solution of white vinegar and water (mixed 50/50) can also do the job.

Siouxsie: We’d also recommend that you use Feliway Comfort Zone spray and diffusers in your home in order to reduce your resident cats’ stress level. Feliway is a synthetic version of “happy cat” pheromones, and we’ve found it very effective in reducing aggression and urine marking.

Thomas: You can shop around to see if you can get a better price on the Feliway, but from what we’ve seen, the prices at the linked site are well within the norm.

Dahlia: Good luck, Tracy — and get that cat fixed!

Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:

I have a 9-month-old male cat. He’s been an inside cat since I got him — other than a few overnight outings when he’s gotten out an open window or a door left open half a minute too long. My only problem with him is his yowling. His meows vary from a normal meow to a deeper-toned one that almost echoes in the hall. I leave a window open for him so he can enjoy the outside world even though it reaches -40 outside during the winter. I’ve bought him every toy imaginable, keep his bowls filled and his litterbox clean. I also give him as much attention as possible; I even pet him before I pet the dog when I get home from work. My roommate is getting ticked about the crying, and now my girlfriend is saying she wants his manhood reduced by 2/3. As far as I’m concerned, they’re not mine to take, so he can keep them til he sprays one time. Any ideas as what to do for him other then letting him be an indoor-outdoor cat?

~ Junior

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Siouxsie: The kinds of meows and howls you describe are made by sexually mature tomcats when they detect the alluring aroma of a female cat in heat.

Thomas: I know you’re not going to want to hear this, but the only way you’re going to be able to stop that noise is to have your cat neutered.

Dahlia: Mama knows some guys that have hangups about having their male animals neutered. We don’t know what that’s all about. Mama says she’s never met a lady who refused to have her cat spayed because she’d be robbing her “poor kitty” of her womanhood.

Siouxsie: First, you need to understand that cats don’t have the same perceptions about sexuality and manliness that humans do.

Thomas: I can speak about this from personal experience. I’m neutered, and I got fixed when I was less than a year old. It hasn’t made a single bit of difference to me. The only thing that bothered me about it was that I had to go to the vet and it hurt to sit down for a day or two afterwards.

Dahlia: And believe me when I say that my gorgeous Thomas is just as manly as any boy cat I’ve ever met! He just has better manners.

Siouxsie: Well, Dahlia, even through all that obnoxious fawning, you do make a good point: Neutered cats make much better housemates. They don’t cry all night, they don’t spray, and they don’t try to fight with every other cat in their house.

Thomas: Another important thing to know, Junior, is that by not having your cat fixed, you’re putting him at risk for some serious problems. Not only might he get hit by a car when he gets out, as you fear, but when he starts fighting with other tomcats over females in heat, he could get seriously injured by those cats! These injuries can lead to abscesses and can even result in your cat getting feline immunodeficiency virus (FIV) or feline leukemia (FeLV).

Dahlia: Let us tell you a story about a cat we once knew. Kitty Jim’s man “couldn’t stand getting his balls cut off” and never had him neutered. Because of that, Jim was the classic fighting, screaming and — well, you know — tomcat. When Mama finally convinced Jim’s man to get him neutered (after he bit Thomas, Sinéad and Siouxsie), she also had him tested for FIV and FeLV. Unfortunately, he came up positive for FIV. Because he was so aggressive, he was literally a public health hazard for other cats.

Siouxsie: And we all had to get tested for FIV and FeLV all over again! I was so mad!

Thomas: Mama worked with her vet to try and place Jim in a home with other FIV+ cats, but nobody wanted an aggressive cat. No shelter would take him because he was known to have FIV. The man’s lifestyle didn’t allow for keeping Jim confined until he mellowed out. Long story short: his man made the heartbreaking decision to have him put to sleep.

Dahlia: We’d hate for your cat to meet a similar fate.

Siouxsie: One more thing — it’s a better idea to get your cat neutered before he starts spraying. Once he starts, he may get in the habit, and trust us when we say you don’t want that!

Thomas: While it’s true that neutered-kitty spray is much less pungent than tomcat spray, it’s still a habit humans don’t like.

Dahlia: Even after you have your little man fixed, it’s going to take a couple of weeks for the testosterone to completely leave his system — so his spray will still reek for a while after the surgery.

Siouxsie: Right now your cat is very stressed. Because his sex drive is awake and he can’t leave his house (unless he escapes), his body is sending him all sorts of crazy signals that he can’t do anything about. That level of tension is not good for his health.

Thomas: Because he’s so stressed, we’d recommend that you invest in a Feliway diffuser and place it in the room where your cat hangs out the most. This “happy cat pheromone” product will help to reduce sexual stress and will also help him be calm after he comes home from surgery.

Dahlia: It seems to us that you’re doing your best to give your cat everything he could possibly want, and you’re a very good cat caretaker. We hope you can overcome your personal issue about having your kitty neutered: he will be a much better housemate once his hormones calm down.

Siouxsie: That’s right, Dahlia. We hope this helps, Junior. Good luck to you and your kitty.

Thomas: And remember, real men have their pets neutered!

Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:

I’m a vet currently living in Guatemala City and working for the Pan-American Health Organization (PAHO). For the last two months, I’ve been feeding a stray cat who comes to my garden every day. I’ve vaccinated and de-wormed this cat, which I’ve named Colors, and given her anti-flea treatments. But now I’m wondering if I should neuter her, too.

I’ve been trying to tame her so that she can find a good home, but it’s clear from her behavior that she is feral. Because of this, and because she and my current cat despise each other, I can’t take her with me when I return to Canada next year.

The reason I’m questioning whether or not to neuter her is because she’s survived quite well so far, and I’m afraid that if I spay her I might take away her tools to survive — when she’s in heat, the other cats allow her into their territories, and maybe when she’s pregnant or with a litter, she might be more strong and competent in her ability to fight and get food. On the other hand, if I don’t neuter her, I know that soon she’ll show up pregnant. Please, I need some advice on what to do in this situation.

~ Ana

This feral cat has been "ear-tipped" to show that she has been neutered. Photo courtesy of Alley Cat Allies

Siouxsie: Ana, we definitely think you should spay this cat.

Thomas: Many scientific studies show that neutering feral cats actually leads to a longer and healthier life. When you remove the stresses of mating and the physical demands placed on a wild, unspayed cat by litter after litter of kittens, you’re doing her a big favor.

Dahlia: In fact, there are organizations all over the United States, Canada, and many other countries to spay and neuter feral cats and return them to their colonies. This program, called Trap-Neuter-Return (TNR), helps to stabilize cat colonies and gradually reduce their size.

Siouxsie: Alley Cat Allies is a nonprofit devoted to advocating for humane care for feral cats and helping people to manage the feral cat colonies in their communities.

Thomas: They have lots of information on how to build TNR capacity, how to advocate for feral cats, and even how to set up a TNR program in your own community.

Dahlia: We think starting a TNR program would be a great way to contribute to public health! Especially if you also vaccinate the cats against rabies while you have them in your care.

Siouxsie: If you have the time and energy, we hope you might consider not just spaying this one cat but working with other people in your community — both foreign families living there and local veterinarians and other interested Guatemalans — to do this wonderful service for the feral felines of Guatemala City.

Thomas: From letters we’ve previously received from people living in Central and South America, we do know that some of the work you’d need to do involves changing people’s attitudes about cats, and animals in general. We also know that there are a lot of very serious public health issues that need attention, and these might make great demands on your time already. But even if you have to work alone and you can only spay or neuter a few cats, you’ll make a difference.

Dahlia: We’ve seen small actions create a ripple effect. You might even be able to inspire people to continue your work once you’ve returned home to Canada.

Siouxsie: Ana, we’re grateful that you care so much for this little stray cat that came into your life. We hope you will spay her … and maybe you’ll be able to start something that moves beyond your home and into your community at large.

Thomas: Keep Colors in a cage overnight after she’s been spayed, so she can recover enough to survive on the streets.

Dahlia: And don’t forget to snip off the tip of one ear while she’s under anesthesia. “Ear tipping” is the universal sign feral cat colony caretakers use for “I’ve been spayed or neutered.”

I hope you’ll forgive me for bringing this week’s chapter to you late. It’s just so traumatic … I have all I can do not to break down in hairball-horking, wretched, tearful terror when I think about it. So I’m going to make this as short as I can. Thomas is here grooming me and whispering sweet purr-songs in my ear. But it’s still hard. *sniffle*

So, as you recall, last week I told you about the hole I licked into my tummy because I was so itchy, and the shame I had to endure while wearing that giant plastic cone thing around my head. And worse yet, Doctor Sarah threatened that the hole might not heal without further intervention.

I didn’t know what that meant at the time, of course. But what I did know is that every time I tried to do anything, that *hissss-spit-grooooowwwwl*ing Cone of Shame made it just about impossible. And to make matters worse, Mama was holding me down, forcing my mouth open, and pushing some kind of nasty, bitter thing so far back in my mouth that I had to swallow it! I couldn’t have spit the darn thing out even if I’d wanted to!

“What have I done to deserve such abuse?” I cried to the Cat Gods. “I’ve been a good kitty, so why is Mama being so horribly mean to me?”

They greeted my entreaties with a cold silence.

Oh, of course, Thomas tried to make me feel better, but he was starting to get pretty perturbed too: every time he tried to groom my ears, that darn collar got in the way! Once he even swatted me because the cone twisted his whiskers the wrong way. And if you’re a cat, you know just how awful it feels to get your whiskers twisted the wrong way!

(I’ve seen Mama cussing and letting her eyes leak when she hits her Funny Bone, and I imagine that when you humans hit your Funny Bone, it feels a lot like whisker-twisting feels to us.)

Anyway … Mama did her best to console me, too. She even took the Cone of Shame off me when she was awake and in the house with us. “As long as I’m here and I can make sure you don’t lick and nibble at your tummy, you can go cone-less,” she told me. “But I’m afraid I have to put it back on you when it’s time for me to go to work or go to sleep.”

And then, a few days later, Mama called … she called … *sniffle* she called the vet and said the hole in my tummy hadn’t gotten any smaller. And then I heard her say … *sniffle* … “So I’ll be bringing her in for that appointment we set up.”

Then she grabbed me before I could even figure out what was going on, and … and … *choke* … shoved me into that awful portable … portable prison!

I cried and cried, and wailed and wailed! I screamed my despair as loudly as I could! I even made a big, stinky mess in my prison box! But did Mama stop and take me back home? NooOOOOoo!

How could the person I used to love and trust so much commit such hateful atrocities against a tiny, helpless, three-pound slip of a kitten who had done nothing but give her purrs and head-bonks and whisker-tickles?

Then we arrived at the gulag. The barking and howling of gigantic dogs in the back room made me so scared I wet my crate again! But Mama took me out and held me gently as we waited in the exam room for Doctor Sarah. I was trembling so hard I could barely breathe. My paw pads were oozing sweat and my heart was racing so fast I felt light-headed and woozy.

When Doctor Sarah finally came in, Mama had to unhitch me, claw by claw, from her sweater in order to set me down on the table.  “Poor thing, she’s so scared she’s shivering,” Mama said.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Doctor Sarah said. “I know this is hard, huh?”

“Meep?” I managed to say.

“What a good, brave girl,” Mama said as Sarah lifted me up to look at my belly.

“Well, I was afraid of this,” Sarah said. “I’m going to have to cut the edges of that wound and stitch them back together. I’m sorry, little Dahlia.” She stroked my head.

“So when should we do it?” Mama asked.

“I’d set aside a few minutes today because I suspected this would happen. So if you want to leave her here, you can pick her up on the way home this afternoon.”

“Okay. I didn’t feed her this morning because I noticed the wound wasn’t closing and I thought you might say that. I don’t want her running around the farm with an open wound that isn’t healing.”

Saddest. Kitty. Ever.

Mama gave me a hug and kiss. “I’ll be back for you later, Dahlia, I promise,” she said. “You be good.”

And once again, I was forcibly removed into the bowels of the clinic where I awaited my fate, hunched in the back of my cage and shaking with terror, as the bloodthirsty baying of dogs and the screeches of half-feral barn cats swirled around me.

That’s … that’s the last thing I remember *sniffle* before Mama came to take me home.

Now I’m going to curl up in a tiny little ball and *sniffle* cry for a while until … until Mama gets home!

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