Tiny Grief Song

A couple of weeks ago, I told you about my visit to the vet to discuss Kissy’s leg. After X-rays and consultations with four orthopedic surgeons, my vet and I agreed that amputating her congenitally deformed and chronically painful leg would be the best thing to do in order to give her the high-quality and pain-free life she deserved so much.

Yesterday I brought her in for amputation. We did pre-anesthetic blood testing to make sure nothing was abnormal, and Dr. Alden said everything looked great. Her packed cell volume — the percentage of red blood cells in a blood sample — was 37%, which is well within the normal range.

Dr. Alden allowed me to watch the surgery and document it in photographs, which I felt was a tremendous privilege. It was beautiful to see her loving on Kissy as the tech induced anesthesia — stroking her head and cooing sweet words in her ear as she slowly descended into the deep, painless sleep of surgery.

I’m not going to show you any photos from the surgery itself because an amputation is not a pretty thing to watch. But I will say that as I stood there observing, and Dr. Alden explained the different parts of the procedure and showed me various anatomical features and the tech carefully monitored Kissy’s vital signs and made sure she was sufficiently deep in anesthesia so she wasn’t feeling any pain, I felt the deep-seated love and kindness they brought to the operation.

Dr. Alden gives Kissy some love

Dr. Alden gives Kissy some love as the tech inserts an IV catheter.

I was there with Kissy as she began to come out of anesthesia, stroking her head and telling her how well she did and what a brave kitty she was, giving her lots of love and affection even if she wasn’t awake enough to perceive it on a conscious level.

After they moved her to a recovery cage and surrounded her with warm saline bottles to keep her body temperature up, I left to do some errands. The vet said I’d be able to pick her up around 5:00.

Kissy post-surgery, coming out from under anesthesia

Kissy starts coming out from under anesthesia. She’s still on oxygen at this point, but as soon as she showed a swallow reflex, they removed the tube and let her breathe on her own.

Three hours later, just as I was finishing my laundry, I checked my cell phone and realized I’d gotten two voice mails from Dr. Alden, about half an hour apart. “Oh, shit,” I thought. The first voice mail said Kissy had had some seizure-like activity, but she was doing okay at the moment. The second was much more dire. Kissy had come out of anesthesia enough to start thrashing around in her cage, a clear sign of severe pain. The techs physically restrained her to keep her from injuring herself, and the vet administered Buprenex to ease Kissy’s pain.

Then things took a decided turn for the worse. Her heart rate had increased to 160 beats per minute (when she was sedated, her pulse was lower than that) and the pulses in her limbs felt weaker. They drew more blood and found that Kissy’s packed cell volume had decreased by 10%, which indicated that she was having abnormal bleeding.

Dr. Alden re-opened the incision to ensure that none of the ligatures on Kissy’s femoral artery or other blood vessels had come undone. Although there was a lot of blood at the wound site — probably as a result of all that thrashing around — there was no evidence of active bleeding and all the sutures were still tight. She recommended that I take Kissy to a veterinary referral clinic in Scarborough, about eight miles away, where they could do more extensive monitoring, and if I got there in half an hour or so, Kissy would be ready to go. I took a few minutes to set up a ChipIn for her extra expenses. I’d budgeted for the surgery, but I knew from my experience with Dahlia earlier this year that urgent-care bills can add up really fast.

As I was driving across town to pick Kissy up, I got another call: Kissy had continued to go downhill and it was clear that something serious was going on. Dr. Alden had sent Kissy ahead to the referral clinic in the care of two techs. I was just around the corner from the clinic at the time, and I dashed in for a quick consultation with Dr. Alden before I set off to follow the techs to Scarborough.

When I pulled into the clinic about 15 minutes later, I was halfway to the door when the techs, Renee and Sam, came out to meet me. “I’ve got some bad news,” Renee said. “She didn’t make it.” Sam, who had assisted in the surgery that morning, was in tears.

I stood there in shock for a second. “Oh my God,” I whispered. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

“I was driving,” said Renee. “She crashed about halfway here. We did everything we could…”

“I know you did,” I said as the tears started to flow. Renee hugged me and I said, “Thank you so much for trying.”

“Thank you so much,” I said to Sam as I reached out to hug her, too.

I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. But numbness had overtaken me by that point.

“Do you want to see her?” Renee asked.

I nodded, and they escorted me inside.

One of the referral clinic’s vet techs took me to an exam room and brought Kissy’s body to me. She was wrapped in a huge, dark-blue fleece blanket, and all I could see was her head and shoulders.

She looked just the way I’d left her.

Once I was alone in the room, I broke down and wept like I haven’t wept in years. I stroked Kissy’s beautiful, soft fur and told her how sorry I was, that all I’d wanted for her was a happy, pain-free life and I had no idea that this operation, or the drugs, or the pain, or something none of us could ever have foreseen like a blood clot or a ruptured aneurysm or whatever, was going to kill her. I told her it was OK for her soul to leave, that her body was dead now — I worried that with her sudden death, maybe her soul wouldn’t have fully realized that she was dead, and I didn’t want her to stay with her body, confused about what was going on. And I cried. And cried.

I finally pulled myself together enough to arrange for her cremation. As soon as I left the building, I called my mother. Sometimes you just need your mother, and this sure as hell was one of those times. Mom’s compassionate words soothed my aching heart and grounded me enough that I felt like I’d be safe to drive back home.

Back home, I ended the ChipIn and then made the hardest call I’ve probably ever made in my life. I called Robin. I’d adopted Kissy from her rescue, Kitten Associates, just six months ago, and Robin had been following Kissy’s progress in adjusting to her new home, standing by me through the tough times and celebrating every milestone along with me.

We cried. And cried some more. Both of us wished we lived closer so we could cry on each other’s shoulders and celebrate Kissy’s wonderful but entirely too short life together. Dr. Alden called me around 6:15 after she’d finished her day’s appointments and offered me her condolences. I thanked her and said I couldn’t have wished for better care for my sweet Kissy, and for the compassion and kindness everybody at the clinic had shown after Kissy’s tragic death.

Gone too soon, loved by so many, never forgotten. Gaté, gaté, paragaté, parasamgaté, bodhi soha!

After a night of alternating between shock and tears and trying unsuccessfully to distract myself by watching episodes “RuPaul’s Drag Race” on Netflix, I fell into a blessedly dreamless sleep. This morning I woke up knowing what I had to do.

I’d already budgeted for Kissy’s surgery, so I have the resources available to take care of that. You contributed $360.50 to the ChipIn for Kissy’s extra care. The best way I can think of to honor Kissy’s life and the wonderful work that Robin and Maria do to save cats from high-kill shelters in the deep south is to donate that money to Kitten Associates. They saved Kissy’s life and the lives of her newborn kittens. If it hadn’t been for them, I would never have had the privilege of loving and meeting Kissy. May this money help you save more lives.


  • http://www.mysiamese.com Cheysyuli

    We are very sorry to hear about Kissy–our thoughts and purrs to you during this time

  • http://randomfelines.blogspot.com Random Felines

    Oh Janea – we are so very very sorry. Kissy was loved by you…and so many others. We know it is hard to hear, but please believe you did EVERYTHING you could for her….. purrs

  • http://www.catherineholm.com Cat

    I’m crying….I’m so sorry….xxoo CAT

  • Lisa

    So sorry. I know the guilt from thinking you are doing something to help them and it turning out like this. My Mischief died 2 days after surgery when she was 9 months old. To date, she was the most affectionate and loving cat I’ve ever had the honor of sharing my home with. Kissy had more of a chance between Kitten Associates and you, and the vet and vet techs than she would have on her own, or even possibly w/someone else. Maybe that is some comfort — that you know in your heart you did everything you could. You don’t know, if the surgery hadn’t happened, whether she would’ve lived a longer, happier life. There are no answers. You just keep doing the best you can do, and remember her, every day.

    • Lianne

      Yes this might have happened anyway…and amputating the leg was the best chance she had at a pain-free life. Kissy knows how loved she was. She wouldn’t want Janea to feel guilty or sad….

  • http://www.calmingcollars.com Deborah Mendez

    Tears here, too. She knew how it felt to be truly loved by many.

  • Dee

    I share your grief, having gone through saying unexpected good-byes way too many times. It is the price we pay for sharing our lives with such wonderful loving beings. I am so sorry and I wish I could take some of your pain away. The newly departed often “hang around” after death to make sure WE are OK so do feel free to continue to talk to her. She KNOWS how much you loved her. Blessed be.

    • Janet Fanning

      I think my kitty, Ghostie still pushes the dry food bowl to a opposite corner. Kitties seem to stay longer than dogs too.

  • HeatherC

    I am so sad to hear about Kissy’s passing. I was hoping and praying for an altogether different outcome yesterday. I know right now words may not be enough but if it is any consolation I know that Kissy knew she was well loved and that she loved you as well. I have followed her story for quite a while and have to admit that I looked forward to your facebook posts everyday to see what kind of mischief your furbabies were getting into. I cheered on good days and even the bad ones because every step was a step forward. I remember reading when Kissy talked about finding her furever home – she had the best one possible with you and Thomas and Siouxsie. She knew comfort and love and there is nothing better than that. I hope that you find some solace in knowing that Kissy found her furever home w/you and that her story has reached so many people and touched them so deeply and that they are sending you and Thomas and Siouxsie love and prayers right now. (and this next part is from/inspired by a poem I read when one of my furkids passed away I just dont remember the name right now) If tears could build a bridge to heaven, Kissy’s way will be well built and lit for she was loved by so many – none more than you. Sorry for the ramble but I really do you know we will all miss Kissy and have you and your family and friends (esp those at Kitten Assc) in our thoughts and prayers.

  • http://www.thecreativecat.net Bernadette

    JaneA, I’m so sorry. When they tell us there are risks with every surgery we never think it will happen to us, but there are things even the best practitioners can’t see. You couldn’t have had a better team for her. She loved you so much, and perhaps she knew her time was brief.

    After losing Dahlia earlier this year, I know this has reopened that wound. It’s a loss, an experience, a time in your life that fundamentally changes you. My healing Mimi sits on my lap to tell you that there will always be tears in the memory of this time, but in time the gifts will be so much greater. We cry with you today.

  • http://www.coveredincathair.com Robin Olson

    Oh JaneA! That was so beautiful and so hard to read. I am bawling my eyes out (again). I am so busted up about this I can barely type. I’m so so so so sorry this happened. I know all you were trying to do was give Kissy the most wonderful life possible. I can’t get over how it didn’t come to pass and how we are left to mourn the sweet girl we lost and try to find a way to re-devote ourselves to saving more lives. Thank you for the donation in her honor. I am determined that we at Kitten Associates will do something wonderful for you both. I don’t know what that is just yet, but I know the right cat who needs us will find us and we’ll be ready. Much love to you during this heartbreaking time.

  • http://sandpipercat.blogspot.com Rachel Shubin – Sandpiper Cat Blog

    It’s so hard not to cry while reading this post, JaneA. Kissy was such a lucky and amazing cat to be saved by Robin and Maria and ultimately you. We do all we can for our pets, but sometimes that isn’t enough. I’m glad that you have Thomas and Siouxsie to keep you company, just keep giving them lots of extra love and cuddles. I know Kissy and Dahlia are watching over you.

  • Sheila

    I have been weepy since hearing about Kissy’s passing…. such a tragedy — thankfully she was so loved and everyone was just doing their best to give her a pain-free life… I suppose, in some ironic way, she’s now got the pain free “life” she so deserved…. thank you for sharing. Now, please pass the kleenex!

  • Penny

    So very sorry for your loss. Reminds me of all the amazing cats I’ve love and lost – especially a little lost feral kitten. Annchovy was only with us from December 2009 until April 2010, just 5 months added to her estimated 3-month age. But she left a large dent in both my and my husband’s hearts.

  • http://bunnyjeancook.blogspot.com/ Vicki Cook (@vscook)

    Janea – I am so, so sorry for your loss. Who knows why some souls touch us so deeply and leave after such a short time, but you were blessed to have known her. Fly free sweet Kissy and know you were loved by many. xo

  • http://consciouscat.net Ingrid King

    I haven’t cried this hard since Amber died, Janea. Losing a cat so suddenly is the worst. I’m glad you were with Kissy during and after her surgery. Even though she wasn’t conscious, there’s no doubt in my mind that she KNEW you were there.

    You’ve been on my mind ever since I read the news about Kissy. So much loss for you, in such a short time. I wish I was there to give you a real hug, but please accept a big, virtual one, along with the Reiki I’ll be sending you.

  • http://www.zeezoey.com/blog Deb Barnes

    Janea – after sharing time with you last week at the CWA Conference, I know how much Kissy meant to you and I am so deeply saddened by the news. I wish I could write something profound and beautiful, but right now words fail me. I am so, so sorry that this happened, but am at the very least happy at the love you were able to give her. xoxo

  • http://www.zeezoey.com/blog Zee and Zoey – Deb Barnes

    Janea – after sharing time with you last week at the CWA Conference, I know how much Kissy meant to you and I am so deeply saddened by the news. I wish I could write something profound and beautiful, but right now words fail me. I am so, so sorry that this happened, but am at the very least happy at the love you were able to give her. xoxo

  • Terri

    I am so very sorry. I followed her via Kitten Associates, and was so happy when she found her forever home. Thanks to you and Kitten Associates, she knew what it was to be loved and to be part of a family. Just so sorry her time with you wasn’t longer. Condolences.

  • Barbara

    Oh no! NONONONO! I’m in tears here. Torn in two as I know you must be. You *did* make the right choice. You did! There are always going to be unknowns. In any and every situation. Oh my dear Janea, know that you did the best you could. And Kissy was lucky to have you. Sending vibes of love and comfort. Also, lots of hugs.

  • Robin Zimmerman Ritchie

    Janea – I am sitting here in tears again. I’ve been following Kissy’s story since the beginning and I felt as if she was a part of my crew. Those gorgeous green eyes always go to me. She was lucky to have you and Robin to give her the love she deserved.
    Peace and Blessings!

  • Carrie

    Aw! This made me cry! It is awesome that you donated the money and Kissy knows she was loved. I had a lot of guilt after my girl cat passed away but I know they know we were doing our best for them. Hugs to you and hugs for Kissy <3

  • azdebra

    Gentle hugs for you Janea and Kissy, may she rest in peace. she knew you loved her.

  • http://www.catwisdom101.com Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)

    JaneA, sending you my deepest condolences from the heart. I don’t usually do this but it felt right intuitively and hope you’ll find comfort from these insights. There are some very powerful planetary forces at work beginning with a mercury retrograde in Scorpio. It’s not uncommon for certain cats/people to exit at these times. Today is a Scorpio New Moon, the time of new beginnings but it’s is no ordinary new moon, but a solar eclipse.
    Eclipses are many things: unpredictable, emotional, shocking, moving
    us further along the path. They can bring sudden “wipe-outs” and changes.

    This new moon feels hard (Saturn), it’s there to help us transform and grow.
    We can practice gratitude as an antidote to negativity. We can
    acknowledge our resistance by accepting it’s there. Or we
    may ask to be shown where our resistance is, how to work with our pain
    and suffering underneath the resistance. We can feel our feelings. When grieving, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is to feel ALL our feelings. You are strong. Only someone strong could write what you did and as well as you did. Peace, love , light & purrs.

  • http://www.coffeecatsnyarn.com CHo Meir

    We (humans) tend to live like there is always time; time to say how we feel, time to show our love, time to get it right. I’d like to think that the one advantage of sharing a life with a pet in that time is relevant to the moment. But really, there is never enough time. All we can do is relish what is given and hold those moments forever.

    I’m so pained and sorry for your lost.

  • http://www.sparklecat.com Sparkle

    My human and I were devastated to hear the news about Kissy yesterday. I just feel like forces beyond anyone’s control cheated her out of knowing the joy of a good life without pain. But even so, she wound up with the perfect caretakers, first Robin and then you, who were both willing to go the extra mile for her, and whose understanding of us kitties is practically instinctive. If she had wound up with lesser lights, her life would no doubt have been more painful and less loving. So thank you for being there for her and doing everything in your power to give her the quality of life she so very much deserved.

  • http://island-cats.com The Island Cats

    We are so sorry to hear about Kissy. We know how much you loved her. We send you comforting purrs and headbutts.

  • Jean

    My dear friend, I am sitting here in SE London, sobbing at Kissy’s passing. As you know, there are no words, other than you have a lot of love from a lot of people.

    She had five blessed months with you, that she possibly would not have had otherwise. You spread such a cat loving message throughout, so many cats benefit either directly or indirectly from your words – take strength from that. It’s quite possible that my current fostering was in part due to you – doing something rather than just talking about it seems to be you.

    I’m very happy that you’ve donated the money to the charity – I just wish I could have donated more.

    Night-night Kissy – wait for Mama at the Rainbow Bridge.

    Much love to you all,

    Jean and family xxxxxxx

    “My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today”, Richard Adams, Watership Down.

  • Aimee

    Words simply fail to convey my deepest sorrow for you. Please try to focus on the love Kissy gave you and your love to do what was best for her. One day you wil be reunited and she will come running to you perfect, pain-free, and purring. Sending prayers.

  • Ginny Ford

    Dear JaneA…As I read your loving tribute to your much loved Kissy, my Tomtom crawled into my lap as if he knew I needed comfort…..words are so inadequate at times like this..Just wanted you to know how very much I care,as do so many people..Thank you so much for sharing this story with us..You are a very brave person, an awesome writer and such a compassionate lover of cats….sharing tears…..hugs to you…xo

  • Jill Gainer

    JaneA: I am so sorry about sweet Kissy. You are so strong and helping Kitten Associates was a selfless thing to do in Kissy’s memory. Thinking about you!

    Jill Gainer

  • Nicole

    I stumbled upon you blog today. First let me tell you how sorry I am for you loss, I too know how difficult it is to lose someone so close to you, especially unexpected.Reading you story definatly brought tears to my eyes. When i loss my Roo, it was sooo hard, i didn’t think I wanted another kitty after that because my heart was broken. But when I was least expecting it a little ball of fluff came into my life and she is amazing. Funny thing is that I am one that believes in some sort of reincarnation, and there are little things that Roo did to make me smile and now Smidget does them. So have faith that our kitties are always with us.

  • Julie C.

    Thank you for sharing your story of Kissey. I cried so hard when I read this. I sm so so sorry for your loss. Just take comfort that Kissy knew you loved her so much

  • http://www.cherrycitykitties.com Cherry City Kitties

    We are so deeply sorry for your loss. We can tell from your story how much you love Kissy and we are sure she loves you. She is with you always and you will always have a special place in the heart of her soul.
    Harry, Dexter and Tipp, and momma Carolyn

  • http://simplytrece.wordpress.com Trece Wyman

    I cannot imagine your grief. Tears filled my eyes as I read. Certainly she will be waiting for you across the Bridge.

  • http://www.ellasfund.weebly.com Leisa

    I am so very sorry for your loss… no words can help ease the sense of loss, I know. I lost one of my own prescious kitty boys 6 weeks ago, and the thought of him still brings me to tears–as did your post. The only consolation is that they’re waiting for us on the other side, and the love never ends.

    Hugs <3

  • MD Owen

    A friend of mine linked to this blog from Facebook, and I knew what I was going to read: the death of a beloved pet. I am so, so sorry. I cried reading about this sweet kitty’s untimely death. You are such a good pet parent and friend to have given her the best she could ever ask for. I’m trying to dry my face and it’s so hard.

    Be well and best wishes in your grief.

  • Becky H.

    I am so sorry to hear about Kissy. I’ve been following her story since Robin rescued her, I was so happy to hear you adopted her. I really wish Kissy could have had the chance to surprise and astound you as a three legged cat doing things no three legged cat should be doing! Hugs from Starlet, my three legged cat and me too.

  • http://www.atonkstail.com Lisa Richman (of Ryker’s Boyz ‘n’ Allie)

    Oh JaneA,I agree with Ingrid. It’s unbearably hard to lose a beloved baby so suddenly…and oh, how I feel what you’re going through! Tomorrow’s the 2nd anniversary of losing Ryker in an equally swift and unexpected way.

    I wish I could somehow make it better…. You are right, Kissy will *never* be forgotten. Ever.
    She was given a blissful life when you adopted her – please hold onto that knowledge.

    Donating the funds to Robin’s organization is a beautiful memorial in Kissy’s name.
    Hugs to you….I wish I had words that would ease your grief….

  • http://www.manxmnews.blogspot.com Abby

    I have followed Kissy since Robin saved her and her kittens oh so many months ago…and I am so very sorry to hear that she has left for the RB. Tears are stinging my eyes right now and I hope this will make sense. Will keep you in my purrs and thank you for making her life filled with love and care this past year. Fly free of pain Kissy and run on four of those beautiful legs. Meet you on the other side.

    ✿•*¨`*•. ♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥✿•*¨`*•.

  • http://cataustin.blogspot.com CATachresis

    Janea, I am so very sorry to read about the passing of Kissy. It sounds like she had a wonderful life with you and there is really nothing I can say except I do so feel your grief. I don’t know you or Kissy, but am weeping with you. xox

  • Aimee Vinciguerra

    JaneA, I am still crying.. crying again.. This was such a wonderful, loving tribute to Kissy. You are an amazing woman. I’m so so sorry for your loss of Kissy. I too followed her story from the time Kitten Associates took her in. I was overjoyed when she went home with you. We’ll never know why she had to leave so soon, but she knew love, compassion and grace from you, Robin and Maria. Thank you all for rescuing, loving her and giving her the very best chance you could. No one can ever know what all outcomes might be. We do the very best we can and you DID do the right thing for Kissy. Never doubt that. I’m so sorry. Much love. (My Karma also passed yesterday, his was more expected but it doesn’t ease the pain. My Karma and your Kissy are no doubt having a great time together with Dahlia and all the other kitties who went before.) ::Hugs::

  • Vicki

    As I sit here with tears running down my face…I know that Miss Kissy is in a much better place. It is so hard when we loose a family member. I didn’t get ahold of Miss Kissy’s situation until a few days ago…but I have been keeping her in my prayers. I feel your pain & sorrow. I pray that you will have comfort in knowing that she is in The Lords Hands….suffering NO MORE. She will be missed. God Bless You & ALL that were involved in this precious feline’s life.

  • Jody

    Dear JaneA, heart hugs coming your way. My heart hurts for you, and all whose lives Kissy touched. What a precious soul she was, and what a wonderful blessing that she found you in time to know what real love feels like. She’s at peace now, and I know she wants you to be okay too. You did all you could, and sounds like the veterinarians were incredible. Bless you all.

  • Laura & Marmalady

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please have faith in knowing that you were doing the right thing for her and trying to improve her quality of life. This will hurt for a long time but Kissy knew she was loved and she loved you too. I hope you can find comfort in the bond you two had.
    Laura & “M”

  • Cindy

    Words fail. Tears flow. So very very sad for the loss of beautiful Kissy. Spread your wings and fly now, Kissy. My Noelle and so many other of our friends are waiting for you at the Bridge.

  • Connie henrici

    Janea – I just heard about this devastating news. My heart goes out to you. What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful cat. I had the honor of meeting Kissy in person when she was at Robin’s. Kissy was soooo fortunate to have had all the love and affection you provided her. I know how much you loved that little girl. No one can put into words how hard this must be for you. We all feel your pain – I can hardly type this because there are so many tears flowing. My thoughts are with you.

  • Elizabeth

    I was so sad and shocked when I first read about Kissy this morning on Robin’s FB. I couldn’t read more but I had to tonight. Thank you for loving her for taking such good care of her and making sure she knew how special she was to so many. I lost my orange boy Lincoln almost two years ago. I know the shock and helplessness thinking you are going to stop back and bring them home. Please know how much I appreciate all you did , how much Robin did to make a difference! God Bless you.

  • Suzy

    Deepest condolences. So sorry to read about Kissy’s demise.
    It’s never easy when our little baby just suddenly departs.
    God’s comfort be with you during this painful period.

  • http://furrydancecats.blogspot.com Teri and the cats of Curlz and Swirlz


    Think not of the time you won’t have together, but of the time you did.

    I spoke these words at my husband’s memorial and I think of them when I am having a difficult time…

    …’I so envy our cats – they just work with whatever hand life deals them, they don’t worry about tomorrow and they don’t regret yesterday – they just take things in stride and figure things out as they go, because they must just put one foot in front of the other and go on. Sometimes that is what it takes – putting one foot in front of the other until it gets easier.’

  • http://sweetpurrfections.blogspot.com Sweet Purrfections

    We are so sorry to hear about Kissy. We’re sending comforting purrs and our mom is sending hugs.

    Truffle and Brulee

  • http://www.financialblacksheep.com LB

    I am so sorry for your loss. Kissy, was well cared for and had the best human mom ever. I took my Samantha in for a routine check and only came out with arthritis. I put her on pain pills that didn’t seem to be helping after a few months. I took her in and she had cancer of the bladder, distended bladder and couldn’t poop either. If she was relieved of her bladder, just long enough so it didn’t burst, it could have burst anyway. She could have died any second, and I was just grateful that I did everything I could for her while she was alive. Cats are such fighters and lovers, so know you did everything in your power for her and she had a great life. Kissy and my Samantha are playing and loving each other in kitty heaven, along side my mother’s kitties George and Simba. I bet they are all best buds. *hugs


  • Maryanne

    JaneA, Although we’ve never met, I know you, because we are kindred spirits. All of us who take in the loving abandoned, forgotton, neglected and abused are given gifts. Whether it is for a short time or a long time, we are the lucky ones. These wonderful creatures who ask for nothing but love, give us so much in return. They fill our hearts with joy. As I look behind me now, I see Milo on my pillow and Jinxy curled up in my shoes. My heart smiles! Mourn for Kissy because there’s a hole in your heart now. But one day, thoughts of her will make you smile again because she was your special girl and because she’d want you to be smiling. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • Wendy shaw

    I only just saw yr post(a lot of my posts weren’t coming thru)& only just read wot happened. I’m so sorry for yr loss,its so shocking when we lose our loved ones so suddenly & unexpectedly.I lost my Tom 3 yrs ago suddenly & its heartbreaking I know.U try to help them & suddenly they’re gone.Have faith that she knew & appreciated all th love & care u gave her & know with certainty that while u held her,she was with u & heard u talking to her.Also know, without a doubt that she will continue to b around u for awhile as u grieve. I heard my Tom meow,after he was gone (my mum also heard him) & I saw yr him too.Our beloved pets r definitely with us when we need them. Talk to her,she will hear u,grieve as u need,but b comforted by knowing there are many,many ppl out here,that share yr pain & send u love & gratitude,for the amazing care u provide to all th cats u help save & the joy u provide to us who follow you. God bless.you are an Angel, (hugs)

  • http://www.amyshojai.com Amy Shojai, CABC

    Your heart-wrenching post makes me weep over your loss and the brave and awesome legacy that will help other needy cats. Lots of *virtual* hugs, my friend. I know Kissy must be purring with pride and honor–and perhaps that was one reason she came to you. *wiping eyes*

  • Helen Inglis

    I’m crying for you as I type this. I’m so sorry. Sending you a big pile of love across the pond. xxx

  • Kate

    Oh, Jane. I’m so so so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and Kissy and sending love your way.

  • http://www.ihavecat.com I HAVE CAT

    My heart hurts reading this….but all i can think of is how you gave her a good, loving home. You and Robin did all you could for her and for that she is a very lucky sweet soul.

  • http://www.mizzbassie.net MizzBassie

    I am so sorry about Kissy. It must have been terrible for you to lose her so suddenly. Thank you for giving her a loving home. You are in my thoughts. Comforting purrrrrrrrrrrrrrs.

  • Jane Brunt

    I am so sad to read about Kissy. You loved her and she loved you and it must hurt even more because you did everything right. I hope the memories that you shared with us and the many more you have inside your heart will comfort you in her physical absence. Her spirit will be with you forever…

  • Luna

    I am so sorry! My heart hurts for you.Am so glad she KNEW she was loved!Somethings just can not be explained.
    Love and blessings to you

  • http://cathealthcareguide.com Kittyluver

    I am extremely sorry to hear about Kissy. I will always be grateful to the pet owners who gave good place for the pets. Love and blessings to KISSY.

  • SHaron

    Jane, so sorry for your loss. So sorry to hear about Krissy. I know that you only had her a short time, but cherished the memories you have of the the good times. Sometimes that makes it easier to get the the pain.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ritamerlot Rita

    tearfully, i give you virtual hugs.

  • Catherine Murdoch

    Dear Jane, I grieve with you for the loss of your beloved kitty Kissy. I cried when I read your message. To lose a much-loved feline companion is so heart-breaking. I hope in her next life Kissy will return as a whole and healthy puss. Try to comfort yourself with the thought that at least with you she was dearly LOVED. I hope and pray you and Kissy will be reunited in another life.

  • http://www.write4unj.com Nancy Passow

    Oh, Jane, I’m so very sorry! I’m in tears writing this. Many {{{hugs}}} to you.

  • Colleen

    My heart goes out to you and your family that Kissy has made the safe trip to the Rainbow Bridge. The loss is huge, but her life was huge while she was with you. God Bless. She knew LOVE, the most important part of life and living.
    Colleen and her Fur Crew:
    Meiuxy, Choppoer, Honeybunny, MIlagro, Twinkles, BooBear, DoodleBug, Romeo and Hershy
    All Rescue kitties!

  • Mike

    I truly am sorry for your loss.

    (wiping away a couple of tears – don’t want my fellow law enforcement colleagues to see me)

  • vagabond

    I am crying reading this- so very, very sorry for your loss… two losses so close together, same thing happened to me last year. I feel like I knew Kissy personally, for some reason I was drawn to her. She sure packed a lot of personality, love and experiences in her short life. Peace be with you , Thomas and Souixie, as I know it is with Kissy.

  • Mary and Mayhem

    I wish I had not read this at work…..sooooo many tears!
    Silent purrs from Mayhem….and caring prayers for you in your time of loss from me…..

  • Anita Biers

    We never know if a decision is going to be right or wrong but we make it with all the good intentions. I’m sure Kissy knows that. You tried hard to make her feel better. Things go wrong. But energy and spirit never die. She will be with you always.

  • http://PawsandEffect Lynda Noel

    Jane Thomas and Souixie, I cried when I heard of you all lossing your beloved Kissy. She will be with all of you always. Love and kisses, Lynda and Oreo my cat